12 Pains of the Zodiac
by Cyber Rogue
Summary: There are many things that the Sohma family will find to hate about Christmas. Chaos and hilarity ensues as they all try to celebrate this special holiday. Based off of the song "12 Pains of Christmas."
1. Finding a Christmas Tree

" _The first thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...is finding a Christmas Tree!"_

* * *

In hindsight, bringing Ritsu along while trying to find a Christmas tree might not have been the best decision. But he had looked so lonely, and Tohru could not just leave him behind! Besides, she had been able to pick up the subtle, or not so subtle, hints that Shigure had dropped about being left alone. At first, Tohru had offered to bring Shigure along, expressing how his presence would be very welcomed on the tree hunt, while Yuki and Kyo had voiced their displeasure. But the Dog had just smiled and waved a dismissive hand, stating that he could not leave Hatori alone.

The reason for Hatori being at Shigure's house in the first place was still muddled in confusion. Tohru could not quite figure out what had happened between Hatori and Shigure that left the Dragon passed out on the couch with an empty cup on the floor. Shigure had feigned innocence at his cousin's obvious peril, and Tohru had worried for a moment that the Dragon had fallen ill.

When she had expressed her worry, Kyo had just scoffed.

"Darn idiot let his drink get spiked," the Cat had muttered.

Tohru had blinked at Kyo's statement. "Eh?"

"Nevermind that, Miss Honda," Yuki had said simply, gently grabbing her shoulders while shooting a glare at the mischievous Dog who was smirking. "Let us go and find that tree of yours."

These thoughts and memories filled Tohru's thoughts as she trudged up the snowy hill that displayed many pine trees in little stands or buckets. Her red cheeks were flushed, but her smile was bright as she walked alongside her two friends with the Sohma cousins trailing closely behind.

"How 'bout that one?" Arisa asked, gesturing to a tall and lean tree with a lazy wave.

"It is tall, but the branches are thin," Hana pointed out simply.

Kyo scoffed as he stuck his gloved hands in his pockets. "So? It'll die anyway, and we'll be throwing it out."

"It's the experience that counts," Yuki said with a sigh.

"We didn't even ask for your opinion, Carrot-Top," Arisa said with a smirk, knowing that her statement would rile Kyo up.

As expected, Kyo took the bait as he bristled. "Darn Yankee. You didn't even have to come!"

"I was invited, just as you were," Arisa said simply. She pulled Tohru close in a protective embrace. "Besides, someone needs to protect my precious Tohru from you creeps."

Tohru blinked while turning red as her friend held her. "P-protect?"

Kyo also turned red, but more from rage than embarrassment. "Creeps? Who are you calling a creep? You darn little-"

"You are letting her get to you," Yuki said with a sigh. "Stupid Cat."

"Please don't fight," Ritsu said with an anxious frown, wringing his hands nervously. "Please-"

"Why are you butting in!?" Kyo roared, glaring at the older cousin.

Ritsu immediately paled as his eyes went wide. Yuki, at that moment, looked around for a sturdy tree to bang his head up against at his cousins foolish behaviour. "Idiot," he muttered.

Kyo's eyes widened as he too, realized his mistake. His mouth was open to either deliver a verbal jab at Ritsu, or say anything to calm down the hyperventilating man.

But he was not fast enough to come up with anything to prevent the Ritsu meltdown.

"I'M SORRY!" Ritsu screamed, falling to the snowy ground and at Kyo's feet. "I APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR MY-"

"Yeesh, will you pipe down," Arisa said. "Your volume is going to cause an avalanche."

Although she had meant the last part in jest, Ritsu took it quite literally and started scrambling around in a blubbering, frantic mess. "I'M SO SORRY! I APOLOGIZE TO THE SNOW! I APOLOGIZE TO THE SNOW GODS! I-"

Ritsu was suddenly cut off abruptly when a snowball smacked him in the face, sending him collapsing to the ground in a heap. Everyone directed their mixed gazes to Yuki who calmly wiped the snow off of his gloves.

"You are welcome," he stated simply. "Now," he glanced at Kyo. "Tis the season to spread good will towards men. Let us try to be civil, if you can manage such a thing while we attempt to look for a tree for Miss Honda."

Kyo balled his hands into fists, enraged. "I can be civil! I can much more civil than you! And it's good will towards men, not rats!"

"I am sensing hostile, extra waves coming from you two," Hana murmured suddenly. She cocked her head. "Interesting."

Her sudden statement caused both Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru to freeze, a sudden move that was not caused by the cold.

"Um...Oh! Look! More trees!" Tohru exclaimed frantically in the hopes of redirecting her friends from the cursed cousins and their odd spiritual waves.

"What about him?" Hana asked, gesturing to the passed out Ritsu.

"Eh," Kyo muttered, disinterested as he stomped on through the snow. "He'll be fine."

Tohru skipped merrily down the aisle that displayed many trees, both short and tall, wide and thin. "Oh!" she exclaimed, coming to a stop. "This is so tall and beautiful!"

Yuki nodded, coming to stand beside her. "That it is. But we will need one that will fit in Shigure's house," he stated thoughtfully.

Tohru frowned as she stared at the tree. "I suppose you are right. That tree was just so lovely, though. But someone else will find it." She continued walking, her merry spirits soaring high. "I am so delighted that we will be decorating this year! Can you imagine what the house would look like with all the lights and decorations? Not to mention the smell of the pine needles the tree will bring in."

Yuki smiled at her enthusiasm while Kyo's face softened slightly.

"Ha!" Arisa said suddenly. "Tohru, get a look at this." She gestured to a three foot tall tree with thin little branches. "It's a Charlie Brown Christmas tree." She laughed. "We just need a red ornament to send the poor thing crumbling down."

"Aw," Tohru cooed, getting on her knees to look at the tree. "It's so cute!"

"But it won't hold most of the ornaments," Hana stated.

"I think it's...cute," Kyo agreed reluctantly, getting on his knees to observe the little tree. "We can get two trees," he declared, picking the tree up and holding it carefully.

"Great!" Tohru exclaimed happily. She then gasped, scrambling up. "How about this one?" she asked gleefully, stopping in front of a tree and gesturing to it.

"Ah," the salesperson said with a smile, appearing out of nowhere and coming over with an easy smile. Yuki and Kyo were on the alert, eyeing the scruffy man wearily. "You, little lady," the salesman continued. "Have an amazing eye. I can name the price right here and now and have you on your way."

Arisa frowned from behind the tree that Tohru had so happily chosen. "Really? So would we get it half off since we are getting half a tree?"

The man frowned, glaring his beady eyes at the tall, blonde teen. "What do you mean?"

Arisa gestured to the back of the tree, which was bare with dead, orange branches. Arisa raised an eyebrow. "Trying to rip us off, eh?"

Kyo growled, grabbing Tohru and dragging her away from the stuttering man while still holding his Charlie Brown tree. The group went to a different part of the nursery, and it was then they found Ritsu wandering around helplessly. The Monkey then proceeded to apologize for the past five minutes for getting lost and worrying them, ignoring Kyo's blunt, rude statement of "We weren't worried."

"Oh!" Ritsu exclaimed, trying to be helpful in the tree hunt. "This looks nice."

Tohru smiled, coming over to him. "You found one!"

Ritsu faltered. "Oh! I apologize, did you want to find one? I will forget I ever saw this one and give you all the credit!"

"Um," Tohru stuttered. "N-no. You're fine. I think it is a beautiful tree!" She glowed as she stared at it. "It's perfect!"

Ritsu smiled brightly as well. "I think so too! Look Kyo! Isn't it beautiful?"

Kyo shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Is this the one?" Yuki asked with a small smile.

Tohru nodded her head quickly. "Yep! I think this is the one!"

"Good," Kyo said, setting his Charlie Brown tree down carefully and striding forward. "Time to buy this tree and go home then, 'cause I think my eyes are freezing up."

Ritsu gasped in horror. "Your eyes are freezing? Here! Take my scarf!"

In that moment, several things happened at once. Kyo crouched down and tried to swat Ritsu's flailing hand and scarf away. The sudden, sharp movement sent Ritsu stumbling back into a small pine tree, sending the tree falling off its stand. Ritsu attempted to save himself from falling, trampling over the Charlie Brown tree in the process and leaving nothing but a dead, broken tree.

Kyo's strangled cry as he stared at the tiny tree could barely be heard in all the chaos.

Yuki grabbed Tohru out of the way, but Tohru tripped in the process and fell into Yuki's arms. The Rat of the Zodiac could only widen his eyes before he vanished in a puff of smoke. Arisa was trying to sturdy the tree while yelling at Kyo, who was hollering back at her.

Hana was just standing by, eating a bag of potato chips.

Tohru let out a startled gasp when she glanced at the pile of clothes before her. "Oh no!" she exclaimed, searching frantically in the snow for the now transformed Rat.

"I'm sorry!" Ritsu exclaimed, almost sobbing.

"Stop apologizing and back away from us!" Kyo yelled.

Ritsu nodded frantically and backed up rapidly with a sharp 'zoom.' In was then Kyo realized his mistake. "No! Wait-"

Ritsu slammed into another tree, sending it toppling down and into another tree, creating a domino effect. All around them, trees continued to fall. Ritsu was a sobbing mess while Kyo was tearing his hair out in frustration. Arisa was staring in bemused shock while Tohru continued to dig around frantically in the snow.

Hana continued to munch on her chips.

Kyo ceased his hair-pulling actions when he noticed Tohru in the snow. He opened his mouth to inquire what she was doing when he noticed the pile of clothes around her.

His bright, orange eyes widened when he realized what had just happened, and why Yuki was missing.

Oh no.

There were witnesses. There could not be witnesses!

Time to get rid of the 'witnesses.'

He reacted quickly, lunging forward with his arms outstretched, pushing Hana down a small, snowy slope. The dark haired girl's eyes narrowed as her chips went flying and she tumbled down the hill, not letting out a sound of protest. Kyo then turned to do the same to Arisa, but he tripped over the sobbing heap that was his pathetic monkey cousin. He let out a curse as he head butted with the blonde girl, sending them both to the ground.

His training kicked in and he braced his arms on the ground, preventing him from touching Arisa and activating his transformation. Arisa blinked as she looked up at him before a look of annoyance flashed on her face. But then, that look of annoyance vanished, and she smirked.

"Well, didn't know you felt that way, Carrot-Top," she stated.

It was then he realized how close their faces were, and he was about to pull back frantically when he noticed Tohru hold up a bundle of snow that strangely had purple eyes.

"Found him!" she exclaimed. She then let out a startled shriek when a puff of smoke filled her vision and Yuki transformed back into an unclothed human.

Arisa was turning her head at the sound of her friend's excited exclamation. Kyo's swift actions kicked in, and he quickly leaned in, capturing Arisa's lips with his in a quick, passionate kiss.

Arisa's eyes widened, but Kyo did not see her startled reaction as he had his eyes squeezed shut, almost terrified to see her scathing reaction at his abrupt actions.

A sharp smack sounded in his hearing as Arisa smacked him, and he pulled back with a yelp. Rubbing his cheek, his eyes widened when he noticed the fist coming in his direction. He scrambled out of the way, tumbling down the hill as Arisa chased after him. So consumed in her rage, she did not notice the frantic Yuki and blushing Tohru as the dark haired boy frantically got dressed.

"Ow! Woman! Let me go!" Kyo howled as Arisa threw her boot at him.

"Arisa!" Tohru exclaimed, noticing the Cat's predicament as her friend proceeded to strangle Kyo with his own scarf. "Please...don't hurt him!"

Arisa ceased for one moment before launching her last boot at Kyo. She then stormed over, raising an eyebrow as Yuki shrugged on his coat and tried to look normal.

"Where's Hana?" Arisa asked, surveying the chaotic mess.

"Here," Hana said as she trudged up the hill. "Kyo shoved me down a hill."

Arisa stared at Kyo who was still rubbing his cheek. "What is with you? You push her down a hill and then you kiss me?"

Tohru blinked, cocking her head. "You kissed Arisa?"

Kyo's face turned red. "It was-"

"Well," Tohru chirped, clapping her hands. "I'm so happy for you both!"

"Stop being so happy! There's nothing to be happy about!" Kyo exclaimed. "It's not like what you think!" He let out another strangled cry as he scooped up the remains of his Charlie Brown tree, holding it close.

"Will you kids just buy a tree and get off of my property!" the salesman yelled, throwing his hat down in frustration. "I should charge you for this damage."

"Oh pipe down," Arisa snapped. "It's just a bunch of toppled down trees and ruined snow. Nothing to blow a fuse over."

"Will this suffice?" Yuki sighed, flashing his wallet at the man whose eyes widened. The man cleared his throat and composed himself before taking the offered money. "I think this will cover it," he agreed.

"Good," Yuki nodded. "We will take that tree."

"And this one," Kyo said firmly, still holding his Charlie Brown tree. A branch snapped off at that point, but no one dared to comment on the pathetic state of the tree.

Yuki narrowed his eyes. "Spend your own money. I am not wasting anything on that...broken down stump."

"Maybe we could fix it with tape!" Tohru said hopefully, picking up the fallen branch.

"Maybe we could find another one," Hana stated quietly. Yet the salesman heard her, and his eyes widened in horror.

"No!" he exclaimed, shoving the teens and the trees out of the nursery. "No more looking! No more damage! Take your trees and leave me be!" With that last declaration, he shoved them out and locked his gate with a firm 'click,' leaving them all blinking in shock.

"Um," Arisa stated as they all stood outside the nursery. "Aren't we forgetting someone?"

Tohru gasped in shock. "Ritsu! He's still in there!"

"Oh well," Kyo stated, grabbing Tohru's arm and dragging her away while Yuki sighed and followed after them. A moment later, the gate opened up again with Ritsu being flung out by a red faced salesman.

"I'M SORRY!" Ritsu exclaimed as he tumbled down the hill, his apologies vanishing as he unwillingly took the quickest route to the car.

"Well this was exciting," Hana said calmly, crinkling her potato bag.


	2. Rigging up the Lights

_The second thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...rigging up the lights!_

* * *

"Did you decide to get a pile of twigs instead of a tree?" Shigure asked, raising an eyebrow as he stared at the mess of pine needles and branches in Kyo's arms.

The Cat scowled at the Dog, a look that seemed to warn that he was about to inflict some property damage, and Shigure looked about ready to run at the sight of such a warning glare. But Tohru was standing in between them, unknowingly protecting the Dog.

She smiled up at them, beaming happily. Shigure noticed with dismay that her high school friends were not with her. But then, it was probably best that the wave girl and her gangster friend didn't show up after all in his house.

He was also pleased that Ritsu was not around, but that also meant that there wasn't anyone less dangerous to poke fun at. Oh how bored Shigure would be!

But when did that ever stop him?

"Shall we get the garelands out, Miss Honda?" Yuki asked politely.

Tohru smiled as Kyo set his mess of needles and twigs down in a safe corner before glancing out the window at the large tree they had purchased. The christmas tree was strapped to the roof of the car, its branches splayed over the sides. He shrugged. "We'll deal with the Christmas tree later," he muttered, though no one had heard him.

"Of course!" Tohru said. "We could focus on the outside and I could attach the lights on the roof."

Shigure gasped dramatically. "You? My little, delicate flower, on the roof?" He pressed a hand on his heart with a horrified sigh. "How dangerous! You, alone, on the roof." He looked pointedly at the boys, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh!" Tohru exclaimed. "There's no need to worry! I will be using the ladder."

"That old rickety thing?" Kyo demanded, and both his and Yuki's eyes widened at the thought of Tohru balancing precariously on the old ladder.

" _She'd probably try to fix a light, and fall off and break her neck in the process,"_ Kyo thought, horrified.

" _She would spot a squirrel in a tree and lose all interest in her safety and jump off to try and rescue it,"_ Yuki thought with growing terror.

"I'll do the roof!" both boys shouted quickly, startling Tohru while Shigure smirked knowingly.

"Then I suppose it will be the two of us alone with the garlands?" Shigure asked innocently. "I am pretty sure we have some mistletoe laying around somewhere."

Just as he hoped, he got the reaction he was looking for from his two cousins.

"I will help you with the garlands," Yuki said hurriedly, shooting Shigure a warning glare.

"Then you don't need me," Shigure said simply with a triumphant grin, prancing away with a skip in his step while his two cousins stared at him with matching glares as Tohru just blinked in confusion.

While Kyo trudged outside with the ladder in hand, Yuki and Tohru were rifling through the boxes and checking the lights on the garlands.

Ten minutes had passed with Yuki and Tohru sorting and separating the lights that worked, and the lights that did not work. What made it a bit difficult was that the lights that were already stuck in the garlands had to be unwound if they did not work. Such a task left Yuki's hands red and raw.

Yuki huffed. "These are not working," he stated, throwing the useless lights away.

Tohru frowned worridley. "I just might have to go out and get some more," she said as she fixed up the garland. "They are really old, and I am worried that the lights that work for now will go out."

As if to prove her point, the lights that Yuki had plugged in flickered to life, before turning off abruptly and dying. Yuki huffed in frustration, adding those lights to the growing pile of dead duds.

Outside, Kyo was having some success with adding the lights on the roof. Balancing on the ladder, he hammered in the nails before adjusting the lights.

The sound of his hammering filled his thoughts as he slipped into a calm daze. When he was done with at least three lights, he jumped down the ladder with a pleased grin.

"Ha!" he exclaimed, twirling his hammer with a smirk. "Five down, thirty more to go."

"Did you check to see if they work?" Shigure asked lazily as he strode down the steps, arms folded casually.

Kyo huffed. "Of course I did! What do you think I am? Stupid?"

Shigure just hummed, a small smile on his face.

Kyo gritted his teeth. "Watch!" He marched forward and ignited the switch. He smirked when the lights came on, glowing a bright light of gold, greens and reds. He then frowned when he noticed the flickering lights.

"Why are they blinking?" he demanded, outraged. Then, to his displeasure, he noticed that with a simple pop and a fizzle, the lights went out.

Kyo stared, open mouthed while Shigure made himself scarce. Kyo growled, marching forward and waving the hammer at the lights threateningly. "Great," he muttered. "I might as well start all over." But the thought of Tohru's bright and happy smile and how much this meant to her caused him to suck it up and take down the lights with minimum grumbling.

He pulled at the nails with the hammer, throwing the lights down to the snowy ground. He jumped down from the ladder and proceeded to pull the plug on the broken lights, only to notice how the lights flickered back on.

"Ah no," he growled, yanking the lights out and flinging them away. "You had your chance to shine! Now you're going in the trash!"

"Taking your anger out on the lights?" Shigure asked teasingly, poking his head out the window.

With another growl, Kyo marched towards the box of lights, pulling out the messy tangle while Shigure watched with interest.

Meanwhile, Yuki was struggling with decorating the one garland he had finally managed to put up over the archway in the kitchen. He stared at the plastic berries in his hand while looking back at the flickering lights on the gareland. With a frown, he delivered a swift kick to the wall, and the lights miraculously stopped flickering.

"I can't believe that worked," he muttered in surprise.

"Eh?" Tohru asked from her spot on the floor where she was trying to mend Kyo's Charlie Brown christmas tree. "What worked?"

He shrugged. "Oh, nothing Miss Honda." He glanced down at the berries in his hand. "How exactly do you want these to be put on?" he asked.

Tohru smiled as she worked with the sticky tape. "Oh, it doesn't matter! You can decorate it however you want! You are really creative."

Yuki smiled at her encouraging words and determinedly focused on the bare garland before him.

Five minutes later, and despite Tohru's encouraging words, Yuki was pretty sure that he had somehow messed up the garland and berries.

"Um," Tohru started, staring at the mess before her, at a loss for words.

Somehow, Yuki had managed to tangle the berries up in the gareland. The pine needles were on the floor in a green mess. Yuki felt guilty at the thought of creating a mess, knowing Tohru would want to clean it up and refuse to let him help her. The berries he had tried to color coordinate were shaped haphazardly, tangled in the lights and needles.

Yuki frowned, taking a step forward with his hand outstretched. "Pherpas if I adjust this…" The minute he touched the garland, the whole thing fell off of the wall with a 'snap.' Both Tohru and Yuki winced while Shigure cackled from the other room where he was watching the mess.

Hatori, who was still passed out on the couch, just snored.

"I'll fix it!" Tohru said helpfully, jumping forward and picking up the garland. "Here, I'll show you," she said to Yuki, gently taking his hand and pulling him closer so he could see the berries on the gareland. "Usually, I start at the top with a purple and red berry together, then I work my way down on both sides: a red berry on the right with a red berry on the left side. Then there's purple berries under the red berries, then you repeat the pattern!"

Yuki watched as Tohru demonstrated for him, watching as the red and purples created a simple, neat pattern among the green garland. Just as soon as she was done, Tohru was back on the stepstool and placing the garland back on the hook. She then plugged it in and the lights flickered on.

"Beautiful," Yuki breathed, glancing at Tohru.

She beamed. "Yep! And we only have nine more to go!"

Yuki's heart sank as he observed the chaotic scene before them. Boxes were open up with wreaths, garlands, and lights pooling out.

"Oh, all this work is making me tired," Shigure sighed, collapsing up against the walls.

Yuki glared. "You didn't even help!"

"Sure I did," Shigure protested. "I put up the mistletoe!" he smirked. "Do you two want to test it out?"

* * *

Kyo growled once more as he slammed the hammer down on a stubborn nail. Pain exploded on his hand and he howled in pain and jerked his thumb back. He grimaced, hissing as he sucked on his thumb before going back to his work. He had finally managed to detangle one cord of lights that actually worked, much to his relief, but the tangled mess down below still needed sorting out.

Still focusing on the pain in his thumb, he carefully slammed the hammer down before stringing the lights. With a satisfied nod, he was just about to step down when he found that he could not move his right arm. Frowning, he looked up and realized that he had hammered his jacket sleeve into the roof with the lights.

Letting out a curse, he yanked at his sleeve, not in the mood to unstring the lights and pull the nails out. A simple tear in his jacket was nothing compared to everything else that had happened so far. His neck and arms hurt and his fingers were numb from all the lights and nails he had to handle.

With a growl and a torn jacket, he jumped down from the ladder and strode toward the moving tangled ball of lights.

He paused, blinking. Moving tangled ball of lights? The lights were moving?

He watched with growing fascination as a blonde head poked through all the mess, smiling brightly. "Hello Kyo!" Momiji chirped happily.

Kyo sputtered at his blonde cousin, staring at him. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Helping!" Momiji said, holding up the lights in his gloved hands that were even now a tangled mess. "You sure have a lot of work to do," he said.

"I don't need your help," Kyo growled, snatching the lights from Momiji. "I had these perfectly organized."

Momiji frowned, tilting his head. "You do know that if you drop the lights, you can damage them and they will go out, right?"

"I know that!" Kyo snapped, irritated. He made a mental note not to drop the lights and handle them with delicate care. He marched towards the box, rifling around with a frown. "What?! We have no extension cords!" he demanded, outraged.

Momiji giggled. "Is this your first time rigging up the lights?"

"Shut up you darn Rabbit," Kyo huffed. "Go bother someone else."

Momiji beamed. "Good idea! I'll go bother Tohru!"

"Don't bother Tohru!" Kyo shouted, whirling around to face the Rabbit, but he was already gone. Growling, Kyo turned back to the tangled mess of lights, and resigned himself to a long afternoon.

* * *

"Tohru!" Momiji exclaimed, skipping towards her with his arms outstretched, causing her to look up in surprise as she held a ball of lights. Momiji, however, was stopped by Yuki, who held onto him firmly.

"Don't even think about it," Yuki warned. "Show some restraint."

Momiji frowned. "Aw, but I really wanted to hug Tohru." He beamed. "If you won't hug me, will you kiss me?"

Tohru blinked, stuttering. "W-what?"

He pointed upwards. "The mistletoe!"

Tohru looked up and noticed the little plant dangling above their heads. She turned a light shade of pink at what Momiji was implying, hugging the ball of lights tightly.

"So how about it?" Momiji asked, bouncing on his feet with a wide smile.

She smiled down at him and giggled. "Okay!" she said, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Momiji cheered and bounced around the room, looking inside the boxes. "Do you need any help?" he asked.

"Oh! We wouldn't want to take up any of your time," Tohru said quickly.

"How about the garlands?" Momiji asked, poking his head in one of the boxes. "Oh! Do we need to go get a tree?"

"We already got the tree," Yuki said simply. "We still need to decorate it after we get it off the car."

Momiji looked up at his cousin. "You got the tree without me?" he pouted.

"I'm sorry Momiji!" Tohru said frantically. "I didn't know you wanted to come!" She brightened up. "I know! Would you like to come shopping with me for new lights? I need to finish my Christmas shopping anyway."

Momiji smiled. "Yay! A date with Tohru!" he cheered. "Can Haru, Kisa and Hiro come?"

Yuki frowned. "Are they here?" he asked.

Momiji nodded. "Yep. But Haru got lost and Hiro and Kisa are helping him find his way back to Shigure's house."

"And you left them," Yuki stated with a raised eyebrow.

Momiji shrugged, unfazed. "Well, I was so excited to come here that I couldn't wait for them."

"Sure!" Tohru said happily, smiling at the thought of seeing Kisa again. "I would be happy to have you come along. Lets just finish this first." She began listing what needed to be done with the decorating. "I need to do the Christmas cards, cook the dinner for tonight." She paused. "Momiji, will you and the others be staying for dinner?"

Momiji brightened up. "Sure!"

"Miss Honda, you do not need to through all the trouble," Yuki said quickly. "You already have so much to do." He folded his arms. "Kyo and I can finish the decorations, and I can do the dinner." He hesitated. "With help."

Tohru visibly relaxed at the thought of not leaving Yuki alone in the kitchen where he might potentially ruin the meal. She frowned. "What about the cards?" she asked. "There are so many that need to be sent out!"

Yuki smirked just as Shigure walked by. "Shigure's got that covered."

Shigure blinked. "What?" he demanded. "I've got a lot of things-" In that moment, he tripped on a string of lights and with a yelp, he fell forward with the garlands toppling down on top of him.

"Gracefulness is not one of them," Yuki commented with a scowl as he looked at the mess.

* * *

"Work you piece of garbage!" Kyo howled, wrestling with the tangled mess of lights. Somehow, his legs got tangled up in the lights, and his right arm was pinned to his side. It was like the lights had a stubborn mind of their own and had set out to capture the Cat of the Zodiac.

Kyo lunged forward and plugged the lights in, the bright orbs shining brightly, and Kyo let out a triumphant "Yes!"

"I didn't know you were the Christmas tree, Kyo," a voice commented.

Kyo managed to turn his head and see Haru standing on the porch with Kisa on his shoulders and a scowling Hiro at his side.

Kyo narrowed his eyes. "Whatta you looking at?" he growled.

"You look so pretty, Kyo," Kisa said softly from Haru's shoulders.

"I don't feel pretty," he grumbled, trying to detangle himself from the lights.

"Is Onee-chan inside?" Kisa asked hopefully.

"Tohru's doing the decorations with the darn Rat," Kyo grumbled, wiggling free and kicking at the lights that were stuck around his ankles.

Kisa beamed and Haru let her down as she scrambled inside with Hiro following her, not bothering to watch where he was stepping.

"Don't you dare step on my lights!" Kyo roared, lunging towards his smug cousin.

Hiro just smirked. "If you hit me, you will be charged for child abuse. Consider it my Christmas gift to you."

Kyo growled, uncurling his fists as he watched the kid saunter away.

"He better watch it," he muttered in annoyance as he once again got into a fight with the Christmas lights. "I hate rigging up these darn lights!"


	3. Hangovers

_The third thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...hangovers!_

* * *

Looking back, Hatori did not know what had possessed him to visit Shigure. But, he had needed to check on Yuki once more as the Rat had been avoiding the Main House as much as possible. To be honest, Hatori was relieved to be out of the Main House as well, even if it meant being subjected to Shigure's ridiculous antics.

During what was supposed to be a short visit, Hatori had ignored his cousin's attempts at getting him to read one of those romance novels Shigure had written. He meant what he had said back at the summer house; those books made him sick. The things that occupied Shigure's mind were indeed concerning to him, and Hatori had no wish to understand the Dog of the Zodiac.

He would tolerate Shigure, not attempt to understand him.

Perhaps part of the reason for him staying at Shigure's was that it had been a late night, and Tohru Honda had been kind enough to invite him to stay for dinner. It had been his first instinct to politely decline, but she had looked so happy, and whatever she was making did smell good.

So he had accepted her offer, and stayed for dinner.

He was not surprised that Yuki was still in good health, despite his asthma. Though he had kept an eye on his younger cousin. Dinner had gone off without anything exciting happening, aside from the usual and almost violent banter between Yuki and Kyo. But the two boys seemed to tone it down a bit for Tohru's sake.

After dinner had been cleaned up, the teens had retired to their rooms for quick studying, or that is what Hatori assumed they were going to do. He didn't ask, nor did they offer to say anything. Tohru had beamed at him and bid him a goodnight, and he had intended to leave after that.

He should have left, he still didn't know why he stayed.

He wound up staying after all, sitting around the kitchen table with Shigure and playing cards. It was during the game that Hatori had found his thoughts drifting as he stared outside into the dark night as a heavy snowfall began. It was in his silent thoughts that he often thought of Kana.

" _What does snow become when it melts? It becomes spring!"_

He closed his eyes before focusing once more on the cards in his hands. So focused was he on riding his mind from the sad thoughts that he had barely noticed that Shigure had brought out a simple bottle of wine.

Shigure poured himself a glass before pouring one for Hatori without even asking. "Do cheer up, Tori," Shigure said with a grin, lifting the glass.

Hatori accepted his glass, raising it as well and taking a sip. He set it down before narrowing his eyes at the cards.

This used to be Kana's favorite game.

He took another sip of his wine, everything becoming a blur.

He frowned as he glanced at the glass in his hands. "This has a very interesting taste," he commented, tilting his head.

Shigure smirked. "I knew you would like it." With that statement, he poured Hatori another glass.

"I never said I liked it," Hatori commented, though he did not object to the second glass of wine.

It was after the third card game that Hatori knew something was off. He took in a deep breath, feeling more than a bit tipsy.

How many glasses of wine did he have?

He lost count, and he found that he could not form the words to inquire Shigure what was in the wine.

He wound up staying the night, his thoughts slurred. In such conditions, he would not be able to recall the events of the night.

However, a very sober Shigure could recall the events quite clearly. He watched his cousin with mild concern as he shuffled the cards and set them out for another game. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Hatori swirled the last bits of his wine around in the glass cup.

"Another successful win for you," Shigure commented as he set the last card down. He frowned in concentration. "It is a good thing that I did not bet any money."

A giggle caught his attention, and he stiffened up to see Hatori slouched in his seat with a lazy expression. Shigure frowned in confusion, wondering if he had heard correctly.

Did Hatori just giggle?

"I'm very good at this game," Hatori chirped happily.

Shigure raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh really?" he asked, leaning back.

Hatori nodded vigorously, a goofy grin on his face. "Yep! Though, I do have a secret." He leaned in with a conspirative grin, brown hair falling over his eyes. "I have been cheating."

Shigure mocked gasped, hand over his heart. "No! You? Tori, cheating? Never!"

Hatori giggled and spilled his wine glass, causing him to let out a mournful sigh as he stared at the spilled liquid.

"Oops," Hatori said simply. "Don't worry! I'll get another bottle!"

Shigure sat back and watched as Hatori tried to make sense of left and right while staggering around. He smirked, noting that this would be a very interesting experience in watching the normally stoic doctor loosen up.

Maybe spiking the drink was a good idea.

"I like snow!" Hatori declared as he smacked his head against the window, eyes gazing outside. "It's soft and squishy and gets everywhere!"

Shigure hummed as he played around with the cards, an amused smirk on his face. Oh how Ayame would have loved to have seen this! "Really?" he asked.

"I love this kitchen," Hatori continued, humming a song off tune as he pranced around. "Do we have anymore of that fizzy, tasty drink?"

Shigure frowned. "You mean the wine?"

"Yep! That one! I love that drink," Hatori exclaimed.

Shigure did not answer as he looked at the wine bottle he had previously gotten out. His frown deepened when he noticed the tiny bit that remained in the bottle. While Shigure himself had only had two glasses, he had not been paying attention to the amount Hatori had given himself.

He shrugged. Oh well. It wasn't like this hadn't happened before.

He looked up briefly at the sound of someone marching down the steps, and he noticed Kyo nod to him as he approached the kitchen.

Shigure rose to his feet quickly and snatched his phone while hitting the 'record' button, the sounds of Hatori proclaiming his love for all that had to do with the cabinets in the kitchen still pretty clear to him. His smirk widened when he heard Kyo's startled exclamation, and he entered the room just in time to witness Kyo's horrified expression at a singing, tipsy Hatori.

"Hello Red!" Hatori exclaimed, staggering over to Kyo who tried to duck from the doctor's hands. "I love redheads! You looks so nice!" He pinched Kyo's cheeks, causing the Cat to yelp and stagger back.

"What happened to him?" Kyo demanded, eyes flashing with annoyance and suspicion.

Shigure smirked while trying to look innocent. "Hatori decided to loosen up," he stated simply.

"Shigure!" Hatori declared, sagging against the wall. "Have I ever told you that you are my favorite cousin?"

Shigure sighed. "Oh Tori, you're one of my favorite cousins too!"

Hatori frowned, his whole demeanor changing. "One of your favorites? How dare you! I've been with you through thick and thin! I've known you since you were in diapers! I even changed your diapers!"

"TMI," Kyo muttered.

"Strictly speaking Hatori, that's not true as we are the same age and that would be a whole new level of creepy, even for our family," Shigure commented with a shrug. "But you'll be changing plenty of diapers when we're all eighty and wrinkly."

"I know what you did in high school with the bubble gum and Ayame's hair!" Hatori proclaimed. "I remember how you tried to convince me to steal Aunt May's thong-"

"That's enough!" Kyo exclaimed, trying to leave the kitchen. "I don't need to hear your stupid history!"

"-But was I stupid enough to go forward with the prank?" Hatori declared, twirling around. "Nope! Because I was smart! I _am_ smart! I'm a doctor! So all of you should listen to me!" With a burp, Hatori collapsed on the ground in a heap, loud snores echoing in the kitchen.

Shigure frowned and watched his cousin, waiting for the Dragon to move. When he did not, Shigure sighed and bent over to drag Hatori out of the kitchen and too the living room. He hoisted Hatori's upper body on the couch before lifting Hatori's legs in a comfortable position.

"That's...not just wine," he heard Hatori mutter. "I'm...gonna...kill you," he slurred to Shigure before he closed his eyes.

"Ah," Shigure stated, patting Hatori's head. "I love you too." He smirked when Hatori tried to swat his hand away.

Wait until Ayame saw the video. He would show it to the Snake first before letting Hatori see it.

* * *

The first thing that made sense to Hatori was the pain in his head caused by the many sounds around him. He heard the sounds of many voices, and he felt a small flash of irritation. How many people did Shigure invite to the house? They weren't even trying to be quiet!

"-We'll go to the store together!" he heard a happy voice proclaim. In the back of his mind, he identified it as Momiji.

What was Momiji doing here?

"Sounds like fun!" a child's voice exclaimed.

Hm, that sounded like Kisa.

"Perfect!" he heard Tohru say. "That will also give Yuki some time to get dinner ready. I should be back by then to help."

"Take your time," he heard Yuki say. "I can handle this, Miss Honda."

If Yuki was cooking, then Hatori wasn't staying.

"Are you sure you got this?" Tohu asked with concern. "I mean, I know you can do it! But do you need any help?"

"Do not worry," he heard Yuki say in a gentle tone. "I will be fine."

"How is it that we have no extension cords!" a new voice bellowed, the sound of a slamming door opening. Hatori groaned at the sudden pain in his head at the unbearable noise. He briefly wondered if the door had been flung off of its hinges.

"My poor house!" Shigure exclaimed.

Well, there was his answer.

"I'm trying to rig up the lights!" the voice, Kyo, growled. "I don't want to hear about your house!"

"Come on Tohru!" Momiji shouted gleefully. "Let's go shopping! I've got Kisa!"

"Get your hands off of Kisa, you darn Rabbit," Hiro growled, and the sound of shoving could be heard, along with Momiji's startled yelp. Something snapping could be heard, and Hatori cracked an eye open to watch as Momiji crashed into the lights Kyo had brought in, getting them stuck in a tangled mess and flickering off.

"The lights!" wailed Kyo. "Get off!"

"Get OUT!" Hatori bellowed suddenly, his headache finally exploding as he rose from the couch, his expression fierce as he glared at everyone. Tohru and Momiji both squeaked at the angry doctor while Kisa hid behind Haru who just raised an eyebrow. Kyo was still fuming over his ruined lights while Yuki looked unfazed.

"You don't look so good, Hatori," Momiji pointed out unwisely.

Hatori felt his eye twitch, and he took in a deep breath, staggering forward. A puff of smoke filled his vision and he fell to the floor in his seahorse form.

"I've got you Tori!" Shigure exclaimed, cupping his hands and catching the falling seahorse. He tsked as he glanced down at the poor seahorse that was his cousin. "Now, now, I know something that will cheer you up. A nice cup of bureben!"

Hatori swore on his life that he would never drink anything in Shigure's house ever again.

It had only taken a few minutes for him to transform back, and Tohru had hastily given him his clothes with an mortified look. He took his time getting dressed in the bathroom, feeling his headache increase. He groaned, rubbing his head as he sat down at the kitchen table. By the time he had emerged from the bathroom, Tohru had taken both Haru, Kisa, Hiro and Momiji out shopping while Kyo was still in a war against the lights as Yuki tried to finish the meager decorations inside.

"I feel awful," he muttered, rubbing his pounding head.

"Yeah," he heard Shigure say, wincing at the volume of his cousin's voice. "I was surprised at how much you drank."

Hatori narrowed his eyes, wincing once more at the glaring light that the sun was offering through the windows. "I…" He struggled for words. "I only had three cups of wine!"

"Filled to the brim," Shigure pointed out unhelpfully.

The Dragon growled. "You," he said, staggering to his feet, yet a wave of nausea overcame him and forced him back into his seat. "You spiked my drink!"

"I spiked the whole bottle," Shigure stated. "To pull you out of your funk. I didn't think you would drink that much! And could you really not notice the difference in the taste?"

To be honest, he had noticed the slight difference. But his thoughts had been preoccupied with the snow, and Kana. Such memories were the ones that he wanted to avoid, and the wine had been helping him.

He swore, collapsing back on the couch and curling up into a ball, his head pounding. Of all the stupid, idiotic things had had managed to do, getting drunk and getting a hangover was by far the worst.

Why was it that he always managed to do stupid things when Shigure was around?

Well, thank God Ayame wasn't here.

"Don't worry!" Shigure said unhelpfully. "You didn't do anything destructive. Aside from staying still and not moving, you are pretty subdued when drunk!" Somehow, Hatori doubted that.

"Shut up," Hatori muttered, wincing at the volume at Shigure's voice level.

"Oh, and you did call Tohru 'Kana' when she was checking you for a fever," Shigure said with a grin.

Hatori growled, slowly getting up and taking in a deep breath as he stumbled away from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Shigure asked with a frown, following his cousin.

"Aspirin," Hatori muttered, entering the bathroom and fumbling with the medicine cabinet. His headache felt like someone was repeatedly driving a nail through his skull, and he still felt weary and tired, mentally and physically. Winter was always toughest on Akito, and he had been staying up late at night to tend to her needs. As the doctor, one would think he would be aware of his own health, but he barely had time to take care of himself. Sometimes, he felt like this family was working him to death.

He swallowed the aspirin before stumbling out of the bathroom and back towards the couch, collapsing on it and curling up.

"Is there anything I can do for you to help ease you in your moment of vulnerability?" Shigure asked, and it did not go unnoticed by Hatori how Shigure had used the word 'vulnerability.'

"Don't do anything stupid," the Dragon muttered. "And do stay quiet. You are giving me a headache."

He could hear the smirk in Shigure's voice. "More so than usual?"

He was still glaring at his cousin who was smiling behind his cup of tea. Hatori sighed and took his aspirin, glad for the silence in the house.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a weary sigh as he watched Shigure scribble some notes.

"Christmas cards!" Shigure stated simply. He looked up with a smirk. "Though, I could use some help."

"No," Hatori grumbled, pressing the cold glass to his throbbing head.

"Oh, I wasn't thinking of you," Shigure said, his grin growing wider.

At that moment, the door burst open as a gust of wind blew in, along with the booming voice of someone very familiar.

"Gure!" Ayame bellowed dramatically. "I have come to assist you!"


	4. Sending Christmas Cards

_The fourth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...sending Christmas cards!_

* * *

"Gure!" Ayame exclaimed dramatically. "I have come to assist you!"

Both Yuki's and Hatori's eyes widened at the sight of the Snake of the Zodiac, yet Ayame pranced in with his usual flourish.

"My darling brother!" Ayame said gleefully as he approached Yuki. "How wonderful to see you on such an important day!"

Yuki felt his eye twitch, yet he tried to maintain a neutral expression. Maybe he should have gone with Tohru and the others after all. He plastered on a tight smile as his eyes shone with warning. "I'm busy," was all he managed to get out.

"Oh!" Ayame exclaimed happily. "You are in the process of creating something truly magnificent with this tree of yours! I know you will do marvelously. You are so talented, it must be because of my influence on you!"

"Ayame," Hatori grumbled from his slouched seat at the table. "Shut up."

"Oh Tori!" Ayame exclaimed, abandoning Yuki and whirling over to the Dragon. "Am I being too loud? How wonderful that we would all be here, right now in Shigure's house!"

"It is always a pleasure to see you Aya," Shigure said with a grin while Hatori groaned.

"Oh Shigure, do stop, you are making me blush!" Ayame exclaimed, fanning himself.

Yuki gripped the garlands in his hands tighter, trying to block the sounds of his brother's annoying babble.

"Now, over the phone, you had said you needed my expertise," Ayame said, plopping down right between Shigure and Hatori. "Whatever you need, Gure-san, I shall provide!"

Hatori placed his head in his hands with a sigh. It was then that Ayame seemed to take notice of his cousin's distress. "Tori-san, whatever is the matter with you?"

"Hangover," Hatori muttered.

Ayame frowned, taken aback. "Hangover? But you never get drunk!" He narrowed his golden eyes. "Did someone spike your drink?" He turned to stare at Shigure with a wounded expression. "Gure! We both made a promise never to spike anyones drink without the other present to watch the action!"

"It was not my intention to provide myself with some entertainment," Shigure stated matter-of-factly. "It was just meant to get Hatori to lighten up as he was having a...difficult night."

Ayame tilted his silver head. "Difficult? How?" He looked up when he noticed Hatori rising from his seat. "Where are you going?"

"To bed," Hatori grumbled, his headache increasing. There was no way he could drive in this state, no matter how desperately he wanted to get away from the constant babble in this house.

"If you do need anything, do let me know and I shall assist you!" Ayame called out boisterously. Why did Hatori think they were taking delight in his misery?

"Don't need help," he grumbled, falling onto the couch with a sigh.

"Now, Shigure," Ayame said, turning to look at his cousin with a twinkle in his eye. "What did you need me for?"

Shigure sat back with a flourish, displaying the cards in his hand like a fan. "Christmas cards!" he exclaimed joyfully.

Ayame clapped his hands excitedly. "Oh! How wonderful!"

'Wonderful' did not necessarily mean 'fun' as they came to find. Both Shigure and Ayame found true pleasure in their conversations and boisterous ideas for the holidays, rather than filling out the cards as they were supposed to.

Yuki was the true victim behind all of these current events as he was forced to listen to their ridiculous antics. His frown of annoyance was permanently on his face, and he gritted his teeth. His eyes flickered over to his phone and a set of earbuds. Reaching over, he snagged his phone and scrolled to the musics he had downloaded. Stuffing the earbuds in his ears, he cranked the song up to the full volume.

" _Schools out Christmas Break!"_

" _Back to Boston, the Red Sox in four straight!"_

Yuki yelped and yanked the earbuds out of his ears as the blare of electric guitars and heavy drums left him nearly deaf. He glared at his phone, aghast at what he had just heard. He could still hear the rest of the music blaring through the earbuds, and it left him fuming.

"Who," he growled, catching both Shigure's and Ayame's attention. "Tampered with my music?" The glare he sent them showed that he better get a straight answer.

Shigure smiled. "Oh! Which song were you listening to? The one by _Frickin A_? I downloaded that for you, as I assumed it was what you would like."

"Why would you think I liked something like that?" Yuki demanded, very close to stormining over to the table and strangling his cousin. He might have ended the Dog's life then and there, but the fact that Yuki's original songs were still on his phone might have just saved the older cousin's life.

With a huff, Yuki turned his back on the two older men and delated the horrendous song before stuffing his earbuds back in.

" _Hey Santa! Hey Santa! I wish with all my might!"_

Yuki growled, turning to glare at his brother who was beaming happily. " _Hey Santa_ by _Carnie and Wendy Wilson_?" Ayame questioned innocently. "That was me!"

His brother nearly received a black eye for that, but Yuki restrained himself and instead, focused on his phone, deleting all the songs he did not recognize. It was another five minutes before he settled on his favorite song and went back to fixing the garlands while listening to his music.

"Christmas is the time for everyone to find out that you really don't understand them," Ayame confessed. "That is why I am focusing on one particular individual that I really know this year!"

Shigure batted his eyes. "Me?"

"Yuki!" Ayame declared happily, looking back at his brother who was not paying attention to them.

Shigure pouted. "You forgot about me?" he whimpered, crocodile tears forming in his eyes.

"Of course not!" Ayame exclaimed. "I got everyone a little something. But I am going to shower my brother with all my true gifts, thus strengthen our brotherly bond!"

Shigure could not help but smirk, already knowing what Yuki's reaction to his brother's presents would be.

"Hey," Ayame said thoughtfully as he frowned at a card. "Who sent this card?"

Shigure frowned, leaning over and raised an eyebrow at the masked and hooded family in the picture. He flipped the card over and noticed that it had no return address and no name. He shrugged. "Your in-laws?" he joked.

Ayame laughed loudly, throwing the card behind him. "Well," he said. "That's one person we don't have to bother sending a card to." He frowned as he flipped through the list of people they were supposed to send cards to. "I don't even know half these people!" He gasped. "Aunt May?" Ayame demanded as he stared at the card, his voice shrill. "Aunt May?"

Shigure looked up from his own pile of cards. "Aunt May?" he demanded. "The one who gave us socks for Christmas when we were kids?"

"That was from Uncle Earl," Ayame sniffed. "Did you know what he called my passion of work? He called it a vulgar disgrace! All I offered was for him to come by to my shop and improve his appearance. Aunt May would have appreciated it. He also needed a new toupee. The old one looked like a rug and did nothing to hide his bald spot!"

Shigure hummed. "Wasn't Uncle Richard the one with the speedo?"

Both men shuddered at the mental image that quickly came to mind.

"I honestly thought he was making a fashion statement," Ayame confessed. He placed a hand on his hips. "Though I had thought it was rather bold of him to walk around in pink underwear."

"He was certainly bolder than we were," Shigure commented, scribbling on the piece of paper. "Would it be totally insensitive if I just wrote 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy Holidays'?"

Ayame gasped. "Gure! You must express your complete thought and affection into those cards! Tell them about how wonderful they are, and how much they mean to you! We will work on that even if our hands fall off!"

However, twenty minutes into that declaration, Ayame was starting to eat his own words.

"Who says we have to do all of this from scratch?" Ayame demanded, twirling his pen around, bored.

Shigure rose from his seat as if that was what he was waiting for. "No one ever did."

Ayame jumped from his seat with glee. "Oh how wonderful!" he exclaimed. "We are going shopping!" He waved his hand around with a dismissive air. "Yuki, my darling brother, Gure and I shall be going shopping! Try not to miss me too much, but do take comfort in the fact that I will be back!"

Yuki showed no sign that he was aware of his brother's announcement, but that did not deter Ayame.

Unsurprisingly, the shopping trip quickly got sidetracked when the two cousins became distracted with many different shopping options. However, they were soon pulled to some cards that caught their attention.

Ayame laughed boisterously. "Some of these cards are so inappropriate for the family." He gathered the cards that were deemed by himself as 'inappropriate'. "I'll take twenty!"

Shigure hummed as he read the cards Ayame had chosen, but his eyes were stuck on the cover of the card itself. "Hm, Mrs. Claus looks quite ravishing in this one."

Ayame sighed dramatically. "Oh Gure, you do have a dirty mind."

"I'm not the one buying them," Shigure pointed out. "But I am approving of them."

Ayame smirked. "True, but only because I know you, dear Gure-san." He hummed in delight and snatched up a card off of a shelf. However, his face fell as he stared at the card, mouth open in surprise at what he was seeing. Curious, Shigure peeked over his cousin's shoulder to see what he was looking at. Both he and Shigure wore identical expressions of shock as their eyes widened at the Christmas card they beheld.

Shigure raised an eyebrow. "This ain't like any other Christmas card I got as a child," he commented.

"Christmas cards are also designed for the pleasure of adults," a bored voice commented, startling both Ayame and Shigure as they turned to see a very short saleswoman standing before them. Her rectangular glasses were balanced on her nose as her thin, bright red lips pursed at them. The green and red holiday uniform she wore was decorated with golden bells, and both men had to wonder how they hadn't heard her approaching them.

"Can I help you with anything in particular?" the woman asked, adjusting her glasses.

"No thank you, madam," Shigure said with a smirk as he snatched the card out of Ayame's hand, causing his cousin to let out a startled yelp. "I think we've got this covered."

"If you are interested in those types of cards," the woman stated with a thinly raised eyebrow, eyeing the card in Shigure's hands. "Then I would suggest that you check out the shelf on the far left. They might be more suitable for your taste."

Shigure's eyes brightened. "Do you have any that...is specified for a particular relative?"

"If you look, you might just find it," the woman stated, turning on her heel and walking away.

"So much for customer service," Ayame commentend snatching the card back from Shigure. "And what type of 'relative' were you thinking of? Hopefully me, of course."

"Of course," Shigure said distractedly. He frowned as he looked through the shelves. "Do we have to cover _every_ family member with a Christmas card? That'll be expensive."

Ayame shrugged. "Only the ones that matter." He huffed. "I'm not sending one to Uncle Ken. He's a weirdo with no sense of style and no idea how to properly romance a woman. He even rejected my ideas and helpful pointers!"

"He does not deserve your attention, Aya," Shigure commented as he looked through the gift-cards.

Ayame sniffed. "So true." He frowned and glanced at what Shigure was looking at. "What are you buying?"

Shigure just smirked, flashing the gift-card he had chosen. "A twenty dollar gift-card for Akito."

Ayame's eyes twinkled. "Fascinating! What is it?" His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open when Shigure showed him. "They sell those?" he demanded. The silver haired man frantically ran for the shelf, searching through it. "I must find one for Mine!"

"Better than a card she'll never read," Shigure stated. "A giftcard of Victoria Secret merchandise."


	5. Five months of Bills

_The fifth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...five months of bills!_

* * *

Yuki was the first to notice the sudden silence in the house. With a curious frown, he looked up and pulled out his earbuds. He glanced around and noticed the absence of both his brother, and Shigure.

His eyes swept the area, though he shrugged and returned to sorting through the boxes. He glanced up at the garland he had finally managed to set on the archway. He weighed the berries in his hands, muttering to himself. "Red and red, purple and purple," he muttered to himself. He looked up once more with a frown.

"Okay, you've got this," he muttered, holding up the berries and trying to sort them out once more. He rubbed his hands together before getting up on the step stool. "Red and red, purple and purple," he repeated once again. "Simple, easy. Follow the pattern."

After a minute of watching his shaking hands, Yuki growled to himself and closed his eyes, thrusting his hands out. He stood there, frozen as he peaked his eyes open. To his immense relief, the berry was placed in the green garland, unmoving.

Yuki let out a breath, a small smile on his face. His smile soon vanished when it just occurred to him that he had been afraid of a simple berry.

"Well, no one needs to know," he muttered to himself, placing another berry on the garland.

Outside, Kyo was hammering in another set of lights, his frown turning into a satisfied nod. "Three more to go," he declared. He leaped down from the ladder, only to stop with wide eyes as he noticed Ritsu on the porch, plugging in the lights that were still tangled up.

Ritsu looked up with a hesitant look, his eyes wide. "Kyo! I-"

"What are you doing?" Kyo demanded, staring at the tangled lights there were now shining. "And if you even dare try to apologize," he warned when he saw Ristus open his mouth. "I will string you up with the lights."

Ritsu looked like a gaping fish, eyes flickering to Kyo and the lights in his hands. He took in many deep breaths to try and calm himself down before rushing through his explanation. "I came over here to deliver your scarf since you left it with Airsa when she tried to choke you with it and she was going to burn it but she gave it to me anyway. I don't know why she gave the scarf to me, but she did. Anyway, I came here to deliver your scarf and saw you doing the lights and I wanted to help you and I hope I didn't cause you any trouble and if I did I am so SORRY and I'm rambling aren't I? Oh no! I am rambling! I am SO SORRY FOR CAUSING YOU SO MUCH-"

"Shut up!" Kyo yelled, leaping forward and smacking a hand over Ritsu's mouth. He then blinked before frowning as he tried to make sense of what Ritsu had just said. He shook his head, realizing that it would be pointless. He blinked. "Hey, that's my scarf!"

Ritsu nodded, his mouth still covered by Kyo's hand. "Mmph! M srurf Ris plurrrgh bftds-"

"Did you just lick my hand?" Kyo roared, disgusted as he scrambled away while looking at his hands.

"I-"

"You say 'I'm sorry' one more time, your going to need more than Holiday wishes to keep you safe," Kyo warned.

"Lo siento," Ritsu amended quickly. He then gasped in horror, covering his mouth. "I was sassy! Oh dear heavens!"

"Go inside and bother Yuki if you must," Kyo huffed.

Ritsu nodded quickly, holding a bunch of white envelopes in his hand. "Good idea! I got your mail, so I will set it on the table for you!"

Ritsu rushed into the house in a colorful frenzy. He did, however, stop to look at the inside of the house and admire the garlands decorating the archways and the nice berries that complemented them. "Oh, so pretty!" he stated.

"Thank you," Yuki said as he stepped down from the step stool. "One more archway left, and then I can cook dinner."

Ritsu faltered. Yuki was cooking? Who put him up to that? It was like they were setting him up for failure!

"Anything to help Miss Honda," Yuki continued.

Oh, that made sense.

"What is that?" Yuki asked, gesturing to the mail that Ritsu was holding.

Ritsu blinked. "Oh! This is your mail!" He shoved the mail quickly into Yuki's hands, causing the Rat to blink as he tried to catch the falling envelopes. Ritsu let out a startled shriek and tried to help Yuki in catching the envelopes.

"Ritsu, I've got it. I've got it!" Yuki wound up shouting. He sighed, wanting to pinch the bridge of his nose, yet refrained from doing so as such a movement would have caused him to drop the envelopes. So instead, he watched as Ritsu frantically grabbed the envelopes, making it look like much more work than it required to catch slips of paper.

"Here! I'm sorry!" Ritsu exclaimed, stuffing Yuki's arms with the letters.

Yuki grunted and headed over to a small table before setting them down. He frowned as he picked up the envelop, surveying the letter before opening it. His eyes widened as he stared at what it said.

"Yuki? What is it?" Ritsu asked, noticing his cousin's expression. "If you don't mind me asking!"

"Bills," Yuki muttered, flipping through the envelopes. He sighed. "I'll leave it for Shigure."

"Bills?" Ritsu asked curiously, looking at the letters. "Hm, I would have thought they'd be bigger."

Yuki frowned and glanced at his cousin. "What do you mean?"

"Oh! I'm sorry for my intrusion! But...um...with Christmas coming up, you would be using a lot of lights for the trees, the house, and the decorations. Not to mention the cooking and the presents. Oh! And the deserts and candy along with the gas mileage in the car if you ever drove around from one store to the next." He smiled slowly. "You would have very heavy bills on your hands."

Yuki's eyes widened in horror at the thought.

"But I do not think you need to worry about that," Ritsu continued, oblivious to his cousin's distress. He looked up in shock when Yuki scrambled for a pen and paper. "Yuki? What is wrong?"

"What's wrong is that we cannot fall into debt," Yuki answered, his tone surprisingly calm despite the fact that his mind was running with different possibilities and solutions to their current predicament. "Ritsu," he said quickly. "What is your solution to dealing with these bills?"

Ritsu blinked, surprised that someone was asking him. "Oh! Well, maybe we could speak with Tohru-"

"Miss Honda does not need to know," Yuki said quickly. "This will put a damper on her holiday spirit, and I do not want her to worry any more than she does. She has enough to worry about as it is."

* * *

"I'm worried about getting the wrong one," Tohru confessed as she glanced at the two boxes in her hands, torn between the fact that she had to make a decision. She stood in the freezer section with Kisa, Hiro, Momiji and Haru. Kisa was holding onto Haru's hand to prevent him from wandering off and getting lost in the store while Momiji was prancing around with glee. Hiro looked like the typical grouchy child who was leaning up against the wall with a stern frown.

"Which one?" Tohru asked, holding up the two different pies. "I'm already making three homemade pies, but Yuki and Kyo have both convinced me to buy at least one pie for the holiday."

"I like strawberry," Kisa said quietly. "And I know Yuki does too."

"Yuki likes strawberries," Haru commented, echoing the little girl's point.

"But isn't Tohru already making a strawberry pie?" Momiji chirped, skipping to a stop as he rejoined the group. "Why buy a strawberry pie if you are already making one?"

Tohru hummed. "That is true," she confessed, putting the strawberry pie back. "Oh! What about coconut cream?" she asked.

"I hate coconut," Hiro scoffed. "It gets in your teeth."

"But she's not buying it for you!" Momiji protested, turning to look at the shorter boy with his hands on his hips.

"She asked for my opinion, didn't she?" Hiro countered back.

"Don't give her an opinion if it's not nice!"

"She wants an honest opinion, not a false one."

"You want my honest opinion on your opinions? My honest opinion is that you don't know how to be nice!"

"Hiro, Momiji," Kisa said quietly. "You're being a bit loud."

"Um, alright!" Tohru said quickly in an effort to fix the situation. "How about I get a...rutabaga pie?"

Both Momiji and Hiro stopped their arguing while Haru frowned, tilting his head. "Rutabaga?" the Ox inquired couriously.

Tohru nodded. "Yeah! I mean, I've never tried it, but I am sure it'll taste great!" With that, she picked the boxed up frozen pie and placed it in the shopping bag before strolling down the halls with the Sohma's following her.

"Since the food is done," Thoru said happily. "I can focus on the presents!"

Momiji skipped happily. "Do you want me to close my eyes when you but my presents?"

Tohru giggled. "I already got you your present, Momiji," she said, causing the blonde Sohma to brighten up with excitement. "I just need to make some last minute changes and make sure I didn't miss anything. I need to get Shigure this book I know he's been wanting, though I do not know what it is about, to be honest," she confessed.

Both Hiro and Haru raised their eyebrows at the innocence of the young girl before them while Momiji and Kisa were oblivious to the true nature of the Dog's gift.

"And there's this cute cat plushie I want to get Kyo!" she continued. "I know he will love it! And this new gardening book for Yuki, along with these cute little plants that you can hang by hooks on the ceiling. I know Yuki will love-"

She was abruptly cut off when she ran into someone. So lost in her excitement, she had not noticed where she was going. She dropped her basket, and Momiji was quick to gather what had fallen out.

Tohru was quickly apologizing to the woman she had bumped into, who was scowling at the rapidly speaking girl before her. Haru sucked in a deep breath when he realized who it was, his eyes growing icy as he regarded her. But the woman only had eyes for Tohru. Momiji had just noticed who their visitor was, as his eyes grew wide and his mouth parted open slightly.

"Oh boy," Momiji whispered.

"What was it you were saying about my Yuki?" the woman demanded.

* * *

"Okay," Yuki sad with determination. "If we can cut out what we eat and fast for three months, that should help with the bills after Christmas and meet the deadline. And if we wear the same clothes for about, maybe three weeks, then the money we saved in the water bill can go towards the electricity bill. Also, we can keep the heat off and hope that the lights from all the decorations will warm us up. Shigure might not like it, but the sacrifice will help him keep his house."

Ritsu nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe then you can reduce the bills to four months instead of five then!"

Yuki frowned. "It's not enough," he added.

"What are you doing?" Kyo asked, coming in and dusting the snow off of his jacket.

"Tring to cut down on our spending to save up for the bills!" Ritsu exclaimed with a wide smile.

Kyo frowned. "Bills? But...aren't we rich?"

* * *

 **Author's Note: "Lo siento" means "I'm sorry," in Spanish. Hence, Ritsu's sass.**


	6. Facing My In-laws

" _The sixth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...facing my in-laws!"_

* * *

"Um, I'm so sorry ma'am," Tohru said quickly. "I...I wasn't watching where I was going, and it's my fault that-"

"I asked you a question," the woman said sharply. "How do you know my Yuki?"

Tohru paused, eyes wide. "Y-you know Yuki Sohma?"

"I'm his mother," the woman said stiffly, as if it should be obvious.

Tohru brightened up. "Oh! How wonderful!" She bowed quickly. "A pleasure to meet you, ma'am. Yuki has never mentioned you before...but I am sure there is a good reason enough for-"

"So you're the little wretch who is living with my son," the woman said, her eyes unreadable.

"She does all the work and cooking and cleaning in the house," Momiji said defensively, standing in front of Tohru while Haru was a looming shadow over the dark haired girl.

"We were Christmas shopping!" Tohru explained. "And I was finishing up my list of presents for the Sohma's."

"She got rutabaga pie," Kisa said softly.

"Oh," Yuki's mother said. "A peasant's dish. I should not be surprised that my son has stooped so low. The ungrateful brat had scorned Akito's wonderful, generous offer to stay at the Sohma Household, and instead decided to rid himself of everything I had worked so hard for." She sniffed. "He never fully did appreciate what everyone sacrifices for him. Including me."

"Well, you must not have sacrificed enough," Hiro commented with a wry smirk, earning a startled gasp from Tohru.

"Anyway," the Sheep of the Zodiac continued. "We do have a lot to do. Presents to find, food to cook, witches to melt, that sort of thing."

"It-it was a pleasure to see you Mrs. Sohma!" Tohru said as Haru dragged her away. But no sooner had she been dragged away then did she bump into someone else.

"You have got to be kidding me," Hiro grumbled.

But Tohru brightened up at the pleasant face she saw. "Kazuma Sohma!" she said brightly.

Kazuma blinked before smiling at who he saw. "Miss Honda," he said, adjusting the shopping bag he was holding.

Haru nodded. "Sensi."

Kazuma's smile widened when he noticed the Ox. "Haru, it is a pleasure to see you." He turned his attention back to Tohru. "And what might you all be doing here?"

"Shopping!" Tohru said, holding up her bag.

"We got a rutabaga pie," Kisa said with a smile.

Kazuma frowned, curious. "Rutabaga? I will have to try that sometime."

"You can come over for dinner tonight!" Tohru said with excitement. "Oh! That is, if you are not too busy."

Kazuma smiled. "Of course, I would be delighted."

"It seems as if she's inviting the whole Sohma family," Haru commented, folding his arms with wry amusement.

"Do you think you have enough food?" Kisa asked, tugging on Tohru's sleeve.

Tohru smiled. "Of course! Besides, Yuki is already preparing the dinner ahead of time to help me."

Haru, Hiro, Momiji, and even Kazuma looked alarmed at this declaration, but they said nothing else. Kazuma plastered a smile on his face. "How...wonderful," was all he managed to say.

"Yes," Haru agreed with a grimace. "Wonderful." Despite how much he cared for Yuki, even he had to agree that the Rat was not exactly talented when it came to cooking.

That was a nice way of putting it.

"Interesting," a sudden voice said, startling them.

Tohru squeaked, turning with wide eyes to regard a dark haired girl who was standing behind them.

"Hana!" she exclaimed with a wide smile. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Shopping," Hanna said simply, holding up a chip bag. "Kyo made me lose my last bag when he pushed me down the hill, remember?"

Tohru blinked before a light blush came across her face. "O-oh. Yes, I remember." She remembered all too well the tree hunting incident that involved several damaged trees, a bruised and battered Kyo, and a frost bitten Yuki.

Kazuma frowned, confused. "Kyo pushed you down a hill?"

"Yes," Hana said, though her expression softened when she saw Kazuma, and her eyes seemed to shine as she pushed a strand of dark hair back behind her ear. "Though I am unsure why."

"He might have wanted to play!" Tohru said quickly, trying to divert attention away from Kyo, as well as all the cursed Sohma cousins that were at risk of being discovered by Hana. It did not go unnoticed by Tohru how Hana's eyes kept observing Haru, Hiro, Momiji and Kisa. No doubt, she was sensing their strange waves.

Kazuma seemed to understand the situation, and he directed Tohru and the other cousins away. "Miss Honda," he said smoothly. "Why don't you finish up your shopping, and I will see you all at dinner tonight?"

Tohru smiled, relieved to have a polite excuse to leave her friend, even though she really did want to spend some time with Hana. "Alright," she agreed. "I will see you later, Hana!" With that, she and the Sohma's beat a hasty retreat, not looking back.

"Have you come to do a bit of Christmas shopping too?" Kazuma asked, trying to distract Hana from the retreating Sohma's.

Hana looked away from where Tohru and the others were leaving and focused her attention back on Kazuma. She smiled, her expression lighting up her face. "Not really. I am not shopping for anything in particular."

He smiled back. "Perhaps we can grab a quick cup of coffee if you are not too busy."

"Wonderful," she replied. "I will just have to drop my brother off."

Kazuma frowned, confused. "Your brother?" he echoed.

She nodded. "Yes." She moved out of the way, and it was in that moment that he realized that there had been a young boy standing behind Hana. He had the same dark hair and dark eyes as his sister. Even their expressions were similar. It was unnerving to say the least.

Kazuma blinked before he grinned. "Ah, I can see the resemblance."

"Really?" Hana asked, glancing at her brother who had yet to look away from Kazuma. "Because I do not."

"We do not look anything alike," her brother said blankly. He then looked up at his sister. "Oh, look Hana, your chips are there."

Hana blinked before looking in the direction her brother was pointing. "Ah, you are right." She drifted off, leaving Kazuma and her brother alone for a brief moment.

It was all the moment her brother needed.

"My sister likes you," he stated, startling Kazuma. "If you do anything to hurt her, I will curse you."

Kazuma's frown deepened. Being a Sohma, he knew plenty about curses, and he had no intention of being put under one. "You can do that?" he stated.

"I know your name, it is all I need to place a curse," he said simply.

Kazuma nodded, a bit put off by the boy's threat. "I see." He was all too relieved when Hana came back with her chips, and he was relieved that her brother would not be joining them for coffee.

* * *

Kyo struggled with the tree on the car, cutting at the rope that was keeping the tree tied together. In response, the tree swung out and smacked him in the face. He let out a yelp, sputtering and spitting out needles as his face became scratched from the sharp needles

"You should have seen that coming," Yuki commented from the other side of the car as he too was struggling with the tree.

"Shut up," Kyo muttered. He was glad that Ritsu was inside, still sorting through the bills. He would have had to have listened to his pathetic apologies all over again.

But the darn Rat's company wasn't any better.

"Alright," he muttered. "We are getting this tree inside."

Yuki nodded, although Kyo could not see it.

"Are you listening to me?" Kyo demanded.

Yuki sighed, rolling his eyes as he grabbed the tree. "Yes, you stupid Cat," he muttered.

Kyo grunted. "Alright, on three."

But the countdown didn't matter as they wound up dragging the tree off of the car instead of whatever plan they had thought up. After much shuffling, branch slapping and scratching, the tree was finally off of the car.

It was then they both noticed the damage on the car roof.

Kyo swore while Yuki rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. Both teens looked at each other before shrugging.

"Oh well," Yuki said simply. "Not our car."

Kyo opened his mouth to respond before a very loud voice caught his attention and caused him to freeze in fright.

"KYO!" a female voice shrieked, accompanied by the sound of thudding feet.

"Oh no," Kyo muttered, breaking out into a run. He barely got three steps before Kagura collided into him.

"MY LOVE!" Kagura exclaimed, hugging him. "Why didn't you invite me over for the holidays? Why?" she weeped. Soon, however, her weeping turned into rage. "WHY? Do you not want to spend time with me?"

"K-Kagura!" Kyo gasped as he struggled to breath. He tried to avoid her flying fists as she attacked him.

"Kagura," Yuki stated calmly. "We still need Kyo to finish up with the Christmas tree."

Kagura stopped, eyes wide. "Christmas tree?" she repeated.

"Yep," Kyo groaned as Kguara finally released him. "We have a lot of work to do and-"

"So that's why you didn't have time to visit me," Kagura said softly. "Oh Kyo! You've been working so hard on the holidays! You will make a wonderful provider for our family!"

"I ain't becoming a provider for your family!" Kyo yelped.

"Yes you will! You are already great husband material! Look at how much you are slaving over that firewood!" she exclaimed.

Both Yuki and Kyo blinked. "Fire wood?" they both echoed. It was then they noticed she was pointing to the Christmas tree.

Kyo scoffed. "With all the trouble it's been causing us, I am looking forward to the day I get to chop it into little pieces."

"Kagura," Yuki said suddenly. "Would you like to help Kyo with this tree? I am sure that is what an amazing wife does for her...wonderful provider of a husband-"

He needn't say anymore as Kagura hastily snatched up the tree with incredible strength that left both Yuki and Kyo shocked. "I WILL ASSIST YOU MY LOVE!" Kagura screamed as she launched herself at Shigure's house with the tree, mowing over the front door.

"It appears we will need a new door," Yuki commented. He then glanced at Kyo with a smirk. "You are welcome."

"Shut up," Kyo muttered. Though he had to admit, manipulating Kagura to do the heavy lifting, literally, had been a good idea.

But that was where Kagura's helpfulness ended. Kyo and Yuki could not coordinate with the Christmas tree lights, and Kagura tried to be the 'perfect housewife.'

"No!" Kyo exclaimed. "There are not enough lights on the bottom of the tree! It is going to look naked!"

"Stop your fussing," Yuki snapped back. "I'm working on it."

"Not fast enough!"

"Kyo darling!" Kagura sang as she waltzed in with a tray. "I made you some hot chocolate. You must be hungry after all this work."

Yuki frowned before his eyes widened. "Food! I forgot to make dinner!"

"Darn Rat," Kyo muttered as he struggled once more with the lights. "Only you could mess that up. Kagura makes a better housewife than you!"

Kagura's eyes widened at Kyo's statement. "You are right my love!" She set the tray down before racing after a frantic Yuki. "Hold up Yuki! I will show you how to prepare a proper meal." She glanced at Kyo with a look. "Like a proper wife!"

"I am not trying to be a wife!" Yuki exclaimed as he started pulling pots and pans out at random with no clear idea of what he was doing.

"Step aside," Kagura said, hip-butting Yuki. "I shall teach you how to make dinner!"

"Kyo," Ritsu said unhelpfully, creeping towards the Cat. "Do you-?"

"I'm trying to rig up these lights!" Kyo roared, sending Ritsu stumbling back.

"Gotta make 'em dinner!" Kagura sang happily while Yuki moaned and banged his head on the wall.


	7. Salvation Army

" _The seventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...Salvation Army!"_

* * *

Haru did not know how to handle the situation that he was witnessing at this very moment. On the one hand, the punk before him who was dressed in green tights and a red apron was trying to swindle Tohru out of her money. The girl obviously felt guilty enough from running into Yuki's mother, leaving Hana behind, and now faced with the decision to donate.

"Oh, I-uh," Tohru stammered, red with embarrassment. "I...I don't have enough money to donate. I only have enough for my Christmas shopping."

The young man just looked at Tohru with a frown, as if confused, his eyes glistening with possible sadness. But in reality, the man knew full well what he was doing in guilt tripping her. "But think about all the other families who do not have enough money to even perform a simple Christmas shopping spree. They can't even afford one pie for the children."

Tohru blinked, horrified. "Not one pie?"

The man shook his head ruefully. "Not one." He sighed sadly, ringing his bell. "Those poor children, going without a warm, freshly baked pie."

"Here!" Tohru exclaimed, grabbing her wallet frantically. "I'll donate to the needy!"

"No you won't," Haru said sharply, snatching her wallet away. "Tohru, this is the same charity you've donated to twenty minutes ago."

"But it's a different man this time," Tohru protested. "He hasn't gotten anything to present to the needy! And he's standing in the cold!"

"What about Yuki and Kyo who are waiting for you?" Haru asked gently, staring at her with a penetrating gaze. He knew how she would react to his statement about Yuki and Kyo waiting on her.

Tohru blinked before sighing, just as he knew she would react. Yet she looked up with hesitation. "But-"

"I'll donate!" Momiji said happily, dropping a lollipop in the bucket before whisking a protesting Tohru away from the gaping charity volunteer. Haru could not resist smirking at the man's befuddlement.

"You know, your girlfriend is really dense," the man stated with a scowl.

"That's why I am here," Haru stated, disinterested. He didn't bother stating that Tohru was, in fact, not his girlfriend.

The man huffed. "It's a wonder the chick even made it this far in life."

"You don't know her," Haru said evenly, his eyes sparking. "As I said before, I am just here to make sure you didn't swindle her out of her money." His voice rose to a higher level, attracting some curious customers who were glancing in his direction.

The man's expression turned red at the frowns and stares he was receiving. "Stop trying to ruin my job!"

"Get a real job ya bum," Hau said simply as he followed the others.

To help with her guilty conscience she was still feeling over the charity event, Tohru bought everyone a lollipop while they shopped. Momiji and Kisa eagerly accepted thiers while Hiro muttered his thanks. Haru just raised an eyebrow at the lollipop he was given, eyeing the cow shaped sugar that was staring back at him.

"I think it looks cute!" Tohru exclaimed with a bright smile.

Haru just nodded, pocketing the wrapped candy for later. "Haru," Tohru asked hesitantly, catching his attention.

He cocked his head. "Yes?"

"Um," she started, nervously shifting around. "How...how do you feel about Yuki's mother?"

"She's a witch," Haru said blankly. "I hate her."

Tohru gasped, horrified. "B-but isn't that a bit...harsh?"

"Nope," he said simply. "There's a reason Yuki doesn't talk about his parents. Yuki's mother is the type of person I'd bury in the backyard."

Tohru squeaked, suddenly nervous at Haru's statement. But she paused, thinking it over. "She said Yuki was selfish."

Haru nodded. "Yep."

"But he's not," Tohru continued.

Haru shook his head. "Not at all." He looked up. "But I am glad that Sensi came along when he did."

Tohru brightened up. "Me too! It was wonderful to see Kazuma again. Won't Kyo be surprised when he shows up for dinner!"

"Kyo is very lucky indeed," Haru stated.

Tohru would have said more, but she stopped when she felt Kisa tug on her sleeve, catching her attention. The little girl looked up at her with knowing eyes, and it was then Tohru remembered part of her mission.

"Oh no," Tohru exclaimed suddenly, placing a hand on her forehead as if in distress. "I forgot the cinnamon!"

"Where is it?" Momiji asked, leaping forward as if coming to her rescue. "Haru and I can get it!"

Tohru sighed in relief, eyes flickering over to Haru. "Alright," she said. "They would be in the spices section, aisle...13, I think."

Haru frowned. "Why do I need to go-?"

"Come on Haru!" Momiji exclaimed as he grabbed Haru's hand. "Let us go hunt down that cinnamon!" Tohru, Kisa and Hiro both watched them leave, and a small smile spread across Tohru's face. "Alright Kisa," Tohru said happily. "Where did you see that plush toy cow?"

Kisa giggled in understanding as she led Tohru down the aisle with a frowning Hiro following.

"Wait, but you already have cinnamon," Hiro protested. "Or can you not read?"

"I can read," Tohru stated, oblivious to the jab. "Momiji is just distracting Haru so I can get him his present!"

"Here!" Kisa declared, stopping in front of the small shelf of plush animals. She pulled a small cow from the shelf, cuddling with it. "It's so fluffy!"

"I even got some piercings to put on the cows ears," Tohru said with a giggle. "We can decorate it later!"

Both girls giggled while Hiro groaned, closing his eyes in disbelief.

* * *

"Cin-o-men," Momiji said, staring at the shelf with narrowed eyes. "Sin-oh-myen." He blinked. "Cinny-oye-mehan."

"Found it," Haru stated, pulling a small, glass bottle from the shelf. "Cinnamon."

Momiji blinked, staring at the spice in Haru's hand. "Is it organic?" Momiji asked.

Haru frowned. "Does it have to be? And does it matter?"

"It matters," Momiji stated. "We might need organic cinnamon, or non-organic. We might even need whole sticks of cinnamon, or the grounded up version. I mean, the possibilities are endless! We could be here for hours-"

"I'll go ask Tohru what kind she needs," Haru interrupted, walking away with the cinnamon in hand.

"No!" Momiji declared, lunging forward and snatching the spice out of Haru's hand. "We...do not need to disturb her from her intense Christmas shopping concentration!" He stuffed the cinnamon in his pocket and folded his arms. "Now, we can finish this up rather quickly if we just focus.

"Just get the cheapest one," Haru said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He cocked his head when he noticed ground up cinnamon in a bottle, he reached his hand out to snatch the last one, only for someone else to reach for it as well.

"Hey, hands off," the man snapped, slapping Haru's hand away. Haru, however, frowned and snatched it away, causing the man to let out a protesting shout.

"It's the least expensive," Haru said as his way of explanation. He then blinked when he noticed that the scowling man was the same punk who had tried to guilt trip Tohru into giving her money to charity.

The man's scowl became deeper when he noticed Haru. "Least expensive? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

"It is organic," Haru stated calmly.

"Organic is more expensive!" he protested. He stared disapprovingly at Haru, eyeing him up and down. "You're obviously rich, what with that hair job of yours."

Haru paused, eyes flashing. "What?" he growled warningly.

The man obviously did not notice the warning. "Or, maybe you're not as rich as I thought, since it looks like a poor dye job anyway. What kind of an idiot goes with white anyway? You look like an old dude. It looks really fake to me-"

He was cut off abruptly when Haru's fists went flying. Haru let the man fall to the ground before he picked him back up roughly by the shirt.

"Not so tough now, are you?" Black Haru growled, sneering in the man's face. "Now, what was it you were saying about my hair?"

* * *

Tohru looked up in confusion, worry forming in the pit of her stomach. She quickly did a mental count in her head. Kisa was by her side, and Hiro was trying to show Kisa the new games he had found.

"Um, shouldn't Momiji be back by now with Haru?" Tohru asked.

Hiro shrugged. "It's nicer without the Rabbit around. I can hear myself think for once." He scoffed. "And really, stop worrying so much Tohru. How much trouble can they both get into?"

" _Clean up on aisle 17 and in aisle 18,"_ an announcer said suddenly, causing everyone to freeze, eyes wide.

"You don't think-?" Kisa started.

"Nah," Hiro said, waving a dismissive hand. "He wouldn't be stupid enough to-"

" _All employers, dispatched to aisle 19 and 20! This is not a drill people! True destruction is happening! Gather the mops, the brooms! EVERYTHING!"_

"Oh no," Tohru muttered in fear as she and the Sohma's took off running in the direction of aisle 19 and 20.

" _Evacuate aisle 21! The orange juice has spread!"_ the announcer shrieked.

"H-Haru!" Tohru started as they rounded the corner. "Haru- Eeep!"

What she saw before her was Haru, sitting on top of the poor volunteer who was literally drowning in orange juice. Haru nodded his head at Tohru as he chewed on the lollipop she had previously given him. "'Sup?" he stated.

"Haru!" Hiro exclaimed, aghast. He folded his arms. "Wait ta go. You finally got us in a fix."

"It's this punk who got fixed," Haru stated, whacking his victim over the head who let out a yelp.

Tohru knelt down in the orange juice next to the man, trying to speak with him as he drowned in juice. "I am so sorry for what has happened."

"Don't apologize, love," Haru stated, still chewing on his lollipop like a boss. "It was nothing."

"Here! I'll donate to your cause!" Tohru exclaimed, pulling out her wallet and thrusting it in the charity man's face. "If that will help," she amended.

"Trying to bribe the victim, eh?" a sudden voice said, causing them all to look up and see the manager scowling at them as an army of workers armed with cleaning supplies stormed by. "You will be charged for this, little lady," he continued.

"Oh boy," Haru scoffed, rolling his eyes. "There go my ears again."

"Eh, your ears not picking up what I said?" the man demanded.

"Nah, they're just bleeding from the stupid chatter," Haru growled. He got up from his victim, fists curled. "Now," he ripped the lollipop in half before spitting chunks of it out. "What was this about charges, ya jerk?"

"Oh no," Tohru muttered, eyes wide. "Black Haru!"

"He didn't mean anything about it!" Momiji started desperately. "The man was just being a jerk, and Haru put him in his place! No harm done." He ignored the juice soaked man that was struggling to rise, despite the fact that Haru's boot was placed firmly on his back.

"Is that so?" the manager jeered, grabbing Momiji and sticking his hands in Momiji's coat pocket, causing the Rabbit to yelp. "Not only do we have attempted murders-"

"That might be stressing it," Haru commented unhelpfully.

"But we have attempted thievery as well!" the manager continued, pulling out the cinnamon bottle Momiji had stuffed in his pockets.

Momiji blinked as he stared at the cinnamon. "Oh," he said sheepishly. "How did that get there?"

Ten minutes later, Haru and Momiji were sitting side by side in handcuffs. Momiji looked completely confused while Haru looked indifferent.

"You know," Haru confessed. "This is the first time I have actually gotten arrested."

"Please officer!" Tohru begged as she stood outside of the store with both Hiro and Kisa behind her. "Haru didn't mean anything by it! You see, he has a split personality that makes him turn violent because he is really sensitive about his hair color and he doesn't really mean to harm anyone and-Oh! I am so sorry for telling them about this Haru but I am trying to help you!"

"What is she babbling about?" Haru asked, blinking as Tohru launched into her rapid defense to the blinking officer.

"What are they going to do with Haru?" Kisa asked, concerned as she watched her older cousin with worry.

Hiro shrugged. "Eh, probably put him in the pasture, as they say." He chuckled at his own little joke.

Kisa blinked, confused. "The pasture?"

"Put him down," Hiro elaborated. "They might put him in the electric chair first. I've seen it in shows."

Unfortunately, so had Kisa. The very thought of Haru being condemned to the electric chair was so terrifying that it caused her eyes to well up with tears.

"No!" she cried out, rushing to the officer. "Please sir! Don't kill Haru! Don't put him in the electric chair!"

The officer frowned at the teary eyed little girl before him. "The electric-?"

"THE ELECTRIC CHAIR?!" Tohru screamed in horror. "Officer! Please don't do that! He's so young and didn't mean anything about it! How much do I need to bail him out? I'll do anything!"

The officer staggered back before tossing a key to Tohru. "Here! You can take him, but we will let him off with a stern warning."

"Oh, we were warned," Hiro said with a huff.

"Hey!" Momiji exclaimed as Haru walked away. "What about me?"

"Oh, we want that one too," Hiro stated, pointing at Momiji. All the Sohmas, plus Tohru, rushed away from the scene before any more destruction could happen.

"Well," Tohru commented as they walked down the street with their bags of groceries. "That was exciting! We only have one more stop, and then we are done!"

"Is it the toys and books for Kyo and Yuki?" Kisa asked happily.

Tohru beamed. "The toys and books!" she agreed.

"Wonderful," Hiro muttered as they approached the small, tiny store. However, they all froze when they saw a man in a red apron ringing a bell with a red bucket at his feet.

"Donate to the needy!" the man exclaimed to passing shoppers, ringing his bell.

"Is there anyway we can go in through the back?" Momiji asked, warily watching Haru who looked indifferent.


	8. I want an Ant-farmer for Christmas!

_The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me...I want an ant-farmer for Christmas!_

* * *

Ayame moaned as he shifted around in line, his arms full of the cards they had picked out. "This is killing me!" he groaned, throwing his head back.

Shigure sighed. "You and me both, Aya," he agreed. "This line has been going on for hours! It is like they are purposefully trying to delay us in our card making!"

In reality, they had only been standing in line for twenty minutes, but Ayame's dainty feet needed to rest. The line seemed to be moving forward at a snails crawl, a fact and illusion that served to irritate both men.

"Here," Shigure said, pulling out his phone. "Do you want to see the video of an intoxicated Hatori?"

Ayame smiled, clapping his hands while still holding the cards. "Oh would I? Let me see!"

They spent the next ten minutes watching and rewatching the video of Hatori proclaiming his love for everything that was within his sight. The two Sohmas received many odd looks from the people in line, yet no one dared to say anything.

"Oh it would have been better to have seen this in person," Ayame gushed.

"Do not worry," Shigure said when he put his phone away. "Once we are done with these cards, we can recreate Hatori's drunken episode!"

"I hate these Christmas cards," Ayame huffed. "They got us in this mess in the first place."

"I think I hate children now," Shigure stated, pointing to the screaming group in front of them. The mother of the four children was currently ignoring them while the little monsters wrecked havoc around them. Two boys in particular were wrestling with each other, with the older boy roughly throwing his little brother down to the ground before threatening to kick him. The brother nodded to himself, as if satisfied with his younger siblings demise, but the youngest leaped to his feet and kicked his sibling in the leg.

"Oh," Ayame cheered. "That was a good kick." He leaned over to Shigure. "My money's on the little one with the blue jacket."

Shigure smirked. "You think so? I think the larger one with the red jacket will wipe with floor with his younger sibling, and I am willing to bet a twenty."

"Are you two betting on those remboncius children?" one woman behind them demanded, aghast.

"Madam," Shigure said simply. "We are overgrown children who are bored out of our minds while waiting in line. Let us have fun. Tis the season!"

"Someone should rely that message to them," Ayame said, nodding to the four children who were now demanding candy and toys in very loud, shrill voices.

"I want a transformer for Christmas!" one boy screamed, tugging on his mother's sleeve.

"Buy me something!" another wailed as he kicked at his sibling, causing his brother to wrestle him to the ground.

"I gotta go to the bathroom!" one exclaimed.

"Look, that dude's a woman!" one kid exclaimed, pointing at Ayame suddenly.

Ayame blinked, registering what they had just said to him. "I beg your pardon?"

"You're a woman because of your long hair!" the kid shouted, causing everyone to stop and stare. Even the mother seemed to finally take notice, and she blushed red at the looks she was receiving.

Ayame gasped while Shigure chuckled. The Snake sniffed, flipping his hair over his shoulder, casing the woman behind him to sputter as some of his white locks slapped her in the face.

"Young man," Ayame said, nose in the air. "I will attempt to inform you of a man's true weapon in the world of romance, and his greatest pride. And then, I will inform and perhaps, forgive you, of your lack of knowledge."

"Pay up everyone!" Shigure called out. "You are about to witness the wisdom of Ayame Sohma!"

Ayame waved a hand in Shigure's direction. "No need to have these folks pay, Gure. Consider it a Christmas gift to all! Yes, miracles really do happen!" He leaned over until he was nose to nose with the little boy. "Now, child, a man's hair is his pride, a symbol of his-"

Ayame was abruptly cut off when a child suddenly jumped out of nowhere and yanked on Ayame's precious locks. Ayame let out an unmanly shriek as he bolted upward from his previous position, howling as he scrambled to protect his hair.

"Oh! He pulled on my hair!" Ayame shrieked. "Gure! How does it look? Is it bad?"

"Oh my," Shigure said with mock horror as he made a show of looked at Ayame's hair. "Aya," he started, his voice quivering. "I...I don't know how to tell you this…"

"What?" Ayame wailed. "Tell me!"

"Ayame," Shigure continued. "It's...it's a bald spot!"

Ayame's eyes widened and he let out a shriek. He went into a fit of hysterics as he moaned and bewailed his loss of hair. He collapsed to the floor, curling into a ball.

"Avert your eyes, Gure!" Ayame moaned. "For I do not wish for you to see me in such a state!"

"Oh Aya!" Shigure crooned as he knelt next to his cousin. "I have seen you in worse. Do not fret!"

Ayame seemed to be slowly returning back to his normal self at the presence of his cousin, until the same kid who had yanked on his hair decided to kick him in the shin.

Ayame howled and glared at the smug child. "You're a brat," Ayame hissed.

"No, you're a brat," the boy said, still smug as he pointed at Ayame.

Ayame recoiled as if he had been slapped. "How dare you! I am of princely character while you are of the devil! You touched my glorious hair and made me BALD!"

"Your hair is ugly, you brat," the kid stated.

"Have you noticed that the kid does not seem to be changing his verbal attacks?" Shigure mused thoughtfully. "It is really quite clever in the fact that he can still rile Ayame up with the same words."

"It is glorious!" Ayame proclaimed, still locked in a war with a human being who was twenty years younger than him. "And I am not the brat, you are!"

"You are!"

"You are!"

"I SAID YOU ARE!"

* * *

Kyo stepped back with a firm nod, a smile on his face when he took in the bright and shining Christmas tree that stood proud and tall.

His smile soon slipped when he noticed that the lights positioned in the entire part of the bottom of the tree was dead. He blinked, not daring to believe that the entire part of the tree was void of shining lights.

Kyo let out a frustrated growl as he marched forward, unhooking the lights and getting slapped in the process. He struggled with the lights, glad that he had held off on putting any ornaments on the tree yet.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Yuki and Kagura had come to an unspoken agreement to stay on seperate sides of the kitchen. Kagura had put Yuki in charge of preparing a simple salad dish, something she was certain he could handle.

"-And I will make some cookies as well!" Kagura said happily. "Won't Kyo be so happy!"

Yuki did not respond as he became steadily focused on putting the salad together. He huffed, straightening up as he prepared to add the dressing to the salad.

Kagura hummed thoughtfully as she stirred the soup, the festive smell filling the kitchen. "The soup should be almost done!" she exclaimed.

In that moment, darkness plunged the entire house, causing Ritsu to let out a startled shriek before apologizing for his sudden noise. The Monkey soon launched into a lengthy explanation on how he was certain it had been his fault that the lights had gone out.

"I do not think you were the cause for the power outage," Yuki said evenly to Ritsu, feeling the sticky, wet substance of the dressing he had tried to pour on the salad leak over the countertop. In the sudden darkness, Yuki had been preparing to add the dressing and had squeezed too hard on the bottle.

The rest was history.

"What-?" Kagura started as she tried to feel her way through the dark.

"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!" they heard Kyo shout, along with the sounds of running footsteps and something falling.

Kagura was all too eager to assist. "Here I am!" she shouted, pulling open drawers and grabbing anything that resembled a flashlight. "Here!" she exclaimed, no watching where she was going and crashing into Kyo.

Kyo yelped as he tried to activate the flashlight. He frowned in confusion as he examined the object he had been given. He scowled in the direction he assumed Kagura was in. "This isn't a flashlight!" he exclaimed.

"No," he heard Yuki say before a bright light filled his vision. "This is the flashlight."

Kyo scowled as he looked away from the light the Rat was shining in his face. "Put that light away, darn Rat! You want me to go blind?"

With a simple 'click,' Yuki turned the light off, plunging them all into darkness.

"Turn it back on! I can't see!" Kyo exclaimed, snatching the light away. He blinked when he realized that he had missed and grabbed something else.

"That is my shirt, stupid Cat," Yuki muttered, irritated as he shoved the flashlight into Kyo's hand.

Kyo grumbled as he activated the flashlight before leaving the kitchen with Kagura and Yuki following him.

Meanwhile, Ritsu sat in the dark, alone once again with a steaming pot of soup and a salad drowning in dressing.

"How did you blow a fuse?" Yuki demanded as both he and Kagura hovered over Kyo's shoulders as the Cat struggled with the fuses.

"None of your business," Kyo muttered as he put the flashlight in his mouth. However, he soon gave it to Kagura. "Hold this," he ordered. Kagura squealed at the thought of helping Kyo and eagerly shone the flashlight where he needed it to be.

"Is the Christmas tree almost done?" Yuki inquired.

"Yes," Kyo grunted. He then paused. "Almost."

Yuki frowned. "Almost? Have you put the lights on it yet? What about the ornaments?" He paused for a moment before pointing over Kyo's shoulder. "That fuse doesn't belong there."

Kyo threw his hands up in frustration. "Fine! You're so smart, you rig up the lights!"

"I thought we were trying to get the power back," Yuki stated, trying to control his smirk.

"The lights, the trees, the ornaments," Kyo raged. "All of it, you darn Rat! I'm sick of Christmas!"

"Don't be a scrooge," Yuki admonished.

Kagura gasped suddenly, as if remembering something vitally important. "The soup!" she exclaimed in horror, dropping the flashlight and rushing back up stairs.

Yuki's eyes widened as he remembered what he had left in the oven. "Oh no," he muttered, racing after the Boar, leaving Kyo alone.

"Hey!" Kyo exclaimed as he tried to reach the flashlight with his foot. In that moment, the power came back on, flooding the house with light once more.

But taking in the kitchen, both Yuki and Kagura wished for the darkness once more to hide the mess they now faced. The soup had boiled over, despite Kagura's efforts to save it. The roast Yuki had left in the oven was burned, and the rice had to be scrapped off of the bottom of the pan. All that was edible was a bowl of soggy salad.

"Perhaps we can salvage it," Yuki said desperately. "After all, it's just us, including you."

At that moment, the house phone rang, and Yuki was all too quick to answer it. "Sohma residence," he said into the phone.

" _Yuki!"_ he heard a voice say over the phone. " _What a pleasant surprise that you had answered_ _the phone."_

Yuki blinked, straightening up. "Sensi? Is something the matter?"

" _Oh, not at all,"_ Kazuma assured him. " _I ran into Tohru and the others at the market, and she invited me to dinner tonight. I wanted to inform you ahead of time, as Miss Honda is still shopping at the market. She also informed me that you were cooking."_

Yuki blinked. "Yes, I am." He then frowned. "Miss Honda is...still shopping?" he asked hopefully. Maybe they still had time to scrape up a decent meal before she came back.

" _Oh, she won't be long,"_ Kazuma said, dashing away Yuki's hopes. " _She even offered to invite the others over for dinner as well. It does sound like it will be a full house."_

"A full house. Fantastic," Yuki managed to say. "I look forward to seeing you."

Kagura watched him curiously as he put the phone down with a weary sigh. He looked up at his cousin with weary eyes. "Sensi and the others are coming over for dinner," he sighed. "And Miss Honda is on her way."

Both he and Kagura surveyed the disaster before them with the burnt roast, the ruined soup and rice, and the soggy salad.

"We can order takeout," Kagura declared, to which Yuki nodded eagerly.

* * *

Shigure watched with great interest as Ayame got into a pathetic slapping fight with the kid while everyone watched with growing horror. He pulled out his phone, eagerly recording it.

"So," one kid stated at Shigure. "Is that guy really a dude, or a girl?"

Shigure chuckled, flashing the Victorian Secret gift card at the kid. "Does this answer your question?"

The kid frowned before understanding came on his face. "Oh, so she's a girl with a weird voice!"

"Of course not!" Ayame exclaimed in a shrill voice, noticing the conversation going on. "Only a true man would buy his beloved girlfriend something like that! It proves I am a male!"

"Or you have issues," the kid stated.

The child that Ayame had previously been fighting with decided to take things a bit farther and kicked the Snake in the shin. Ayame howled before kicking the kid back. Yet he tripped and fell to the ground where the kid proceeded to trample over Ayame's white locks.

Shigure decided to step in at that moment to try and salvage the situation. But one kid threw a hanger at him. The hanger flew straight and true, much like an arrow, and smacked Shigure on the head, knocking him out as his head connected with a shelf. Meanwhile, Ayame had fainted. From what, no one was quite sure.

"Should someone call the hospital?" a customer asked with growing concern as they surveyed the two Sohmas who were sprawled out in the checking line.


	9. Finding Parking Spaces

" _The ninth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...finding parking spaces!"_

* * *

Hatori groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head. While the headache had subsided somewhat, it was still painful. But the increased noise, as well as the smell of something burning, did add to his discomfort.

Huh, something was burning. He knew having Yuki cook dinner was a bad idea.

Yet, despite his current headache, he felt well enough to drive, and the nap did help him tremendously. Perhaps he could go home and escape from all this chaos.

He was just rising up from the couch when he heard a phone ring. At first, he thought nothing of it until he realized that it was his phone in his back pocket that was ringing.

With a frown, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Noticing who the caller was, he frowned once more and did not answer it.

He had no time to deal with Shigure's antics.

He rubbed his head as he walked towards the door where Tohru had neatly left his coat. As he was shrugging his coat on, his phone rang again, yet he still did not answer it.

' _Whatever fix you've gotten yourself into, Shigure'_ , he thought, ' _you can handle it yourself.'_

Outside, he winced at the glare of the sun and raised his hand to shield himself from such an onslaught. He grimaced once more when his phone alerted him of a text. With a sigh, he glanced at his phone and read the text.

Shigure: _At hospitaol. Need help. Major pain. Owwwwww..._

Hatori could only stare at the text message he had gotten from his cousin, his brow drawing in. He also noted how Shigure had misspelled 'hospital.' For an author, Shigure certainly did not have any respect for proper grammar or spelling when it counted.

With a tired sigh, he slipped into his car and started the engine. Picking up the phone once more, he dialed his cousin's number.

"Shigure," he said when the phone was picked up. "Where are you?"

" _Hatori!"_ Shigure exclaimed happily. " _It is such a pleasure to hear the sound of your voice!"_

"Where are you?" the Dragon bit out as he drove down the road.

" _At the hospital,"_ came the simple response.

"Which one?" he growled, irritated with the dodging question.

" _Oh! Well, to be specific, it is right down the road from where that library is. You know, the one Mayuko works at? I'm thinking of dropping in and wishing her a Merry Christmas!"_

Hatori sighed once more. "What happened?"

" _I got a minor concussion while Ayame fainted. Details as to why and how it happened doesn't really matter right now. But the nice fellow customers wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong with us and sent us to the hospital right away. Wasn't that nice?"_

"If only it could be that easy for me," Hatori muttered.

" _What was that, Tori?"_ Shigure asked.

"Nothing," Hatori answered. "I'll be there in five minutes. Do try to stay out of trouble, if you are even capable of such a feat."

" _Aw, but Tori!"_ Shigure whined. " _You ask too much of us!"_

"Consider it your Christmas present to me," he answered back. With that, he hung up his phone and tossed it aside. He could feel his headache coming on once more, and he reached for an aspirin, despite the fact that he had already had one. He stopped when he realized he had no pills.

"The stupid things I do for you idiots," he muttered as he gripped the wheel.

It took him another ten minutes to get to the hospital because of the traffic. Hatori took in deep breaths as his headache increased with the lighting and the noise of the road.

He was all too relieved when he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, yet he was faced with another, different kind of headache.

Finding parking spaces.

Hatori let out an annoyed growl as he circled the parking lot three more times, trying in vain to find a parking space. Finally, he settled for stalking a certain patient, hoping that that patient would leave and given him a empty space.

He impatiently sat in his car as the person checked their phone for another five minutes before taking another seven to pull out. Finally, Hatori parked his car in the parking space, allowing himself to breath.

It was only until he entered the building did he realize he should have held his breath.

He pulled his coat around himself closer as he pushed the doors to the hospital open. Approaching the desk, he was filled with dread, knowing what a handful his cousins could be. The nurses and doctors looked relieved once they realized why he was there.

Just as he had signed his name, Ayame came bursting through the doors in all his glory.

"Tori!" the Snake exclaimed as he bounded over to Hatori who felt his headache increase. "You have come to rescue us! Here, you'll need this." With that, Ayame flipped a piece of paper at Hatori.

Hatori frowned as he glanced at the note. "What is this for?"

"The little brat who made me bald!" Ayame shrieked, as if it were obvious. "We can sue him for all the trauma he has put me through!"

Hatori blinked. "Little bra-What?" He glanced at Ayame's full head of hair. "And bald?"

"It looks horrendous, wouldn't you say?" Shigure commented as he approached them with a bandage on his head. "But we will all pitch in to buy extensions for Ayame."

Hatori sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Ayame," he said slowly and with forced calmness. "You are not bald. There's nothing wrong with your hair." Aside from the fact that it needed to be trimmed, but Hatori kept that to himself.

Ayame sniffed. "Why, thank you so much Hatori for trying to make me feel better in my hour of need. But do not try to sugarcoat it! Now, as soon as we get home, I am suing that brat!"

Hatori could only resign himself to a long car ride home and wish that the traffic would be lax.

He should have wished harder, or prayed for that matter.

Hatori closed his eyes as he listened to the endless babble going on between Ayame and Shigure in the backseat. When there finally was silence, Hatori took great pleasure in the sweet, quiet bliss for a full minute.

By two minutes, his suspicions came in full force.

He then heard what could only be the sound of his voice through what could be described as a recording, and his eyes widened as he whirled around in his seat to see Shigure and Ayame giggling happily.

"What is that?" Hatori demanded, his voice rough.

Ayame and Shigure glanced at him before bursting out laughing, not bothering to give him an answer.

"Delete that video," Hatori growled, his tone rising as his voice grew steely.

"But you don't even know what it is about!" Shigure protested.

"I wasn't a blackout drunk," Hatori muttered. "Just tipsy enough to get a hangover. Now delete that video."

The sound of cars honking caught his attention, but he did not look away from his two cousins.

"Um, Hatori," Ayame said, blinking. "The light is green."

"Delete the video!" Hatori ordered.

Shigure frowned. "Oh alright." But before he deleted the video, he sent it to Ayame who sent him a secretive thumbs up.

Hatori let out a sigh of relief when they finally pulled up on Shigure's driveway. Ayame and Shigure both scrambled out of the car, and Hatori took a moment to try and gather his wits as he felt worn and tired, despite already taking a nap for the day.

His phone buzzed once more, and he glanced down at it to see the number. With another tired sigh, he answered it. "Momiji," he said. He listened to his younger cousin babble on, his gaze thoughtful. He finally nodded when he could get a word in. "Very well. I will be there soon."

He sat in the car, contemplating for a moment. In the stillness of the silence, he could hear the sudden noise coming from the house, courtesy of Ayame and Shigure.

With a sigh, Hatori put the car in reverse and set out for the destination Momiji had told him where they would need picking up. Apparently, Tohru had bought too much stuff for them to carry, and they needed someone to pick them up and drive them back to the house. Hatori was all too happy to offer them a ride, as it meant he could park the car and rest until they were ready.

* * *

"The cookies have to be just perfect," Kagura said as she gently placed the cookie dough on the tray. After ordering takeout, Kagura had decided to make a batch of cookies to warm up the house and create the impression that she and Yuki had in fact been cooking.

Yuki nodded, his hands shaking as he tried to add the right amount of cookie dough.

"NO!" Kagura shrieked suddenly, causing him to jump and drop the spoon. "You added too much batter! Now that cookie is going to be a big, deformed glop!"

Yuki frowned. "Does it really matter?"

"It matters on how they look!" she exclaimed. "You eat with your eyes first, and your cookies are going to look disgusting as they will be too big or too small! If they are too big, they will spread out and ruin the other cookies around it!"

"Who cares?" Kyo stated, coming in and sticking his finger in the bowl of dough, tasting it. "As long as it tastes good, I could care less how the sweets look."

"I WANT PERFECTION!" Kagura shrieked, punching Kyo and sending him flying out of the kitchen.

"Don't hit the Christmas-!" Yuki started.

 _CRASH!_

"Tree," he finished weakly. The sounds of Kyo swearing and cursing the tree he had been sent flying into could be heard throughout the house, along with Kagura's constant demands for 'perfect' cookies.

Yuki had to agree with Kyo, as reluctant as he was to admit it. As long as the cookies tasted fine, he could care less what they looked like. And didn't everyone like big cookies anyway?

So focused was Yuki in getting the amount of dough on the tray right, he did not notice the sudden, unpleasant arrival of a fellow cursed family member.

"Yo ho ho!" Ayame sang as he burst through the door. "Sending Christmas cards!"

Yuki froze while Kagura scowled. "Get out of the kitchen!" she ordered. "We are baking here!"

Shigure came in, following his nose. "Mmm, something smells good." He frowned. "But you're baking? What about cooking dinner?" He let out a yelp when Kagura threw something at him.

"OUT!" she shrieked, chasing the two males out with frying pans and knives.

Ayame frowned, shivering suddenly. "Why is it so cold?" Then, with wide eyes and a puff of smoke, the fragile Sohma transformed.

"Who turned my heating off?" Shigure demanded, ignoring the Snake that was struggling in the pile of clothes.

"We are rationing to help with the bills," Kyo answered as he fought with the tree.

Shigure blinked. "Bills? What bills?"

"Aren't we rich?" Ayame asked as he wiggled out from under his clothes, his snake eyes blinking.

"That's what I said!" Kyo grunted as he finally managed to get the tree up right.

* * *

Hatori circled around the parking lot, his impatience growing with every circled. Was every parking space filled?!

Maybe he should consider parking in the handicap section.

But he quickly dismissed that idea when he saw a car up ahead mercifully pull out of a parking space. He stepped on the gas and swerved around just as he noticed another car try to claim that space.

With the screeching of tires, Hatori just narrowly missed crashing into the other car. With a smug grin, he parked his car and pulled the keys out.

He sighed, resting his head on the wheel before leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes.

He would rest until Tohru and the others got here. Until then, it was a perfect moment for him to rest and get some decent sleep.


	10. Batteries Not Included

_The tenth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...batteries not included._

* * *

Hiro groaned as he took in the hideous dolls in front of him. "Yuck," he muttered. "Look at this!"

Kisa giggled. "I think it's cute!" she exclaimed, reaching out and pulling the fluffy sheep doll from the shelf. She hugged it close, smiling brightly. "Look! It's supposed to talk!"

"Sheep don't talk," Hiro muttered. "They bleat."

"You do both!" Momiji said. "You bleat and talk!"

Hiro scowled. "I do not bleat, you darn Rabbit!"

Momiji sniffed, eyes filling with tears. "Wahh! Haru! Tohru! Hiro is being mean to me!" He choked when Haru shoved a lollipop in Momiji's mouth.

"Here," the Ox said simply as Momiji blinked in surprise. "Don't make a scene."

"We are almost done," Tohru promised. "Just a few more things and then we are finished!"

"You've been saying that for the last twenty minutes," Hiro grumbled. "And then we've got to walk back with all this stuff! It'll take twice as long!"

"Nuh uh," Momiji said as he sucked on his candy. "I called Hatori. He's picking us up soon."

Tohru beamed. "Wonderful!" She then frowned. "Oh! But he didn't need to go through all of that trouble!"

"Trust me," Momiji said simply. "He actually sounded relieved." He shrugged. "Can't imagine why though."

Tohru still looked uncertain, though she slowly looked back at her shopping list. "Alright," she said. "I have the gardening books for Yuki, and that other book Shigure wanted." She gasped. "Oh! I still need to look for Kyo's gift!"

"Kisa," Haru said softly, watching his younger cousin. "Do you still want to look at the Hiro toys?"

"They do not look like me!" Hiro exclaimed.

Tohru smiled kindly at the Tiger. "I won't be far," she promised. "Just three shelves over!"

Kisa looked reluctant before slowly nodding, a small smile on her face. "Okay!" She grabbed Hiro's hand. "Come on Hiro! Let's go look at the sheep!"

"I'm coming too!" Momiji shouted, following after them, leaving Tohru and Haru alone.

Tohru looked up at Haru, beaming widely. "Want to help me find Kyo's gift?"

Haru nodded simply, following the young woman. "Sure," he said.

* * *

Hiro tried to duck and avoid the gaggle of happy children running by, mostly the girls. He grimaced as two little girls, possibly sisters, ran by and nearly collided in with him. Momiji, however, did not seem to care if a girl would accidentally bump into him and cause him to transform.

Kisa did not seem to be having any trouble with avoiding the chaos of running children. She was happily cooing and observing the stuffed animals.

Hiro's eyes swept over the shelves before his face softened. He grabbed a small animal on the display shelf and approached Kisa, holding the toy out. "Here," he said, gesturing to the toy tiger in his hand. "It talks."

Kisa smiled and took the tiger, pressing the tiny button on the paw and causing the tiger to purr. She giggled. "It's so sweet!"

"Just like Hiro, you big goop," Momiji teased, elbowing his cousin.

Hiro scowled at Momiji. "Knock it off," he grumbled. He then looked back at Kisa. "Maybe we could get everyone an animal based off of their Zodiac."

"Oh!" Momiji exclaimed happily. "There's a snake for Ayame! And a horse for Rin!" He hastily gathered up all of the animals in his arms, disrupting the careful display. He then frowned thoughtfully, his arms full of stuffed toys. "What should we get for Akito?"

Haru scowled. "Who says we need to get him anything?"

"This jade pendant," Kisa said softly, holding up a pendant of a jade emperor.

Momiji frowned as he examined the pendant. "That's Buddha," he stated.

"It's jade, so it'll work," Hiro grumbled. "The cool thing about these toys is that they will talk."

Momiji frowned, doing the math in his head. "If each stuffed toy is worth four bucks, we'd need forty-eight dollars for all of these, plus whatever amount the jade pendant is worth." He paused. "Plus the amount of batteries we would need."

Hiro blinked. "Batteries? But don't they come with batteries?"

Momiji laughed. "Nothing ever just comes with batteries! That's not how the market works! They make most of their money off of the product you buy, plus the batteries, and the extra pieces you've broken. Then once you have everything you need, you come back to buy a whole new set because something is broken or missing!"

"Let me see that," Hiro growled, snatching a stuffed animal from Momiji's hands and scowling at the rooster toy he was holding. After examining the toy for a few seconds, he found what he was looking for. Sure enough, on the tag, it stated plain and simple: _batteries not included._

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Fine," he muttered. "So what do we need? Double As? Triple As?"

Kisa examined her tiger toy. "My needs triple As."

Momiji frowned. "The horse needs a double A. I think the pig needs triple." He frowned, narrowing his eyes as he tried to read the writing on the tag while balancing the other toys. "I think the dog needs...is that a triple A or a double A?"

"The snake needs laser pointer batteries," Kisa commented, helping her cousin.

Hiro blinked. "What are laser pointer batteries?" he demanded.

"The small round ones," Momiji explained.

They set the toys down, looking at what batteries were needed. So far, two toys needed the laser pointer batteries while six required double As. The rest needed triple As.

Momiji did the math on his head, looking upward. "Alright," he declared. "So, the double As are twenty dollars, while the laser ones are just two." He glanced at the batteries Kisa had found him off the shelf. "And the triple As are six dollars." He muttered under his breath. "That is...twenty eight dollars plus the...seventy-six dollars!" he yelped.

Hiro dropped the toy dragon. "Nope. Don't love the family that much."

Momiji shrugged as he picked up the toys and started putting them back with Kisa. "Then your love is cheap."

Hiro opened his mouth to object when a small little girl ran by, giggling happily. She did not watch where she was going, and Hiro was not fast enough to jump out of the way as she collided into him. Hiro let out a yelp as a puff of smoke overcame him, and he was turned into the Sheep as the curse activated.

The little girl squeaked as she fell, rubbing her eyes. She glanced down at the Sheep at her feet, her eyes wide as her mouth parted slightly. Hiro stayed frozen, not daring to even move his eyes.

"How cute!" the girl squealed, catching both Momiji's and Kisa's attention. Both Sohma's noticed Hiro's pile of clothes on the ground as the little girl picked up the still frozen Sheep.

Momiji yelped as he scrambled forward to try and reclaim his cousin. "Um, excuse me-"

"Mama!" the little girl yelled, running towards a dark haired woman. "Look! I found a toy! See, it talks when you squeeze its stomach!" The little girl proceeded to squeeze Hiro's sides, causing Hiro to blink before letting out a weak 'bleat.'

"Ha!" Momiji exclaimed suddenly. "He does bleat!"

"Can we buy it?" the little girl pleaded to her mother. "Please? I've been good all year!"

The mother looked thoughtful as she took Hiro from her daughter, eyes wide in surprise. "Oh my," she muttered. "It...it looks so real!"

The little girl nodded happily. "Can I have it?"

The mother hesitated for just a moment before smiling gently at her daughter.

* * *

"Found it!" Tohru exclaimed happily, holding up the cat toy. "Isn't it cute?"

Haru blinked and tilted his head before a smile tugged at his lips. He nodded his head. "Yes. Cute."

"Tohru! Haru!" a sudden voice shouted, catching the two older teens attention. They both looked up to see Momiji and Kisa running towards them, expressions of panic on their faces.

"Momiji, Kisa!" Tohru exclaimed, worried. "What is it?"

"Hiro has been kidnapped!" Kisa said breathlessly.

Haru looked up sharply. "What?" he demanded.

"Hiro transformed!" Momiji explained in a rush. "And then someone bought him as a sheep thinking he was a toy!"

Haru paused. "That's not kidnapping. I would call that a purchasing mistake."

"Who cares what you call it!" Momiji exclaimed, waving his hands around frantically. "A bunch of strangers took Hiro!"

"We have to get him back!" Tohru said, rushing off in the direction Momiji and Kisa had originally come from. "Where is he?" she asked, looking around with panic.

"There!" Momiji shouted, pointing at the woman who was getting in the car with her child. "There's Hiro!"

"Hiro!" Tohru screamed, rushing towards the car that was pulling out of its parking space. Tohru shrieked when she felt Haru pull her close into an embrace. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt his arms encircle her, right as the sound of his transformation took effect. She opened her eyes just in time to see the Ox charge past her and chase after the car.

"Kisa! Hide!" Momiji shouted, shoving her into a porta potty. "I can only afford to lose one adorable cousin today!"

Kisa blinked as she was plunged into the darkness. "Momiji? Momiji!" But no one heard her as she knocked on the locked door.

Momiji raced after Tohru who was frantically trying to catch up to the car, but Haru was already charging at full speed.

He did not take his eyes off of the car before he leaped in front of it. The woman driving the car had finally took notice of the ox that was keeping pace with her car, and she was already hitting the breaks before Haru had leapt in front of the car.

Haru was breathing heavily, not breaking his gaze with the terrified woman who was staring at him with wide eyes. The little girl in the back seat was cooing in awe at the large animal outside the car, her excited shouts easy to hear.

Momiji panted as he stumbled up to the car. He let out a tired gasp as he wrenched the door open before grabbing Hiro. The little girl let out a pained gasp as she watched her toy get stolen.

"Meanie!" she screamed, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Mama! He stole my toy!"

"Here!" Tohru said, breathless from the running as she tossed the cat toy to the little girl. "I am so sorry, but take this one! Merry Christmas!"

The little girl sniffed as she stared at the orange toy that had been thrown on her lap before looking up to see the girl and the blonde haired boy running off with the sheep and the ox chasing after them.

"Here!" Tohru exclaimed, tossing a black shirt to Momiji who was still holding Hiro. Tohru then blinked, startled. "No! Wait! That's Haru's shirt-"

She was cut off as Hiro transformed in his cousin's arms. The naked little boy blinked as Momiji struggled to try and cover him up in Haru's shirt.

Tohru turned to the Ox that was staring at her. "Um," she stuttered, blushing a light pink. "Here," she said, holding out his long white coat. "You can-"

 _Poof!_

Tohru let out a startled squeak as Haru transformed and her pink blush turned a deep crimson. Haru calmly swiped his coat from Tohru before shrugging it on and struggling into his pants.

Hiro frowned as he was forcefully dressed in Haru's long, black shirt. "Where's Kisa?" he asked.

Momiji blinked. "Oh, I left her in the porta potty," he stated.

Haru frowned as he turned around, and Tohru ducked her head when she realized that, while he was wearing his pants, his jacket was open to reveal his bare chest. "You mean that porta potty?" he demanded, pointing to a porta potty that was being loaded onto a truck.

Momiji let out a horrified gasp while Tohru shrieked. "Kisa!" Hiro screamed as he raced after the truck. He stumbled and nearly tripped on the long shirt he was wearing, but Haru scooped him up and once more charged after the vehicle.

"Wait!" Momiji gasped. "Stop!" He, along with Tohru panted as they ran, tired and out of breath.

But Haru leaped into the middle of the street with Hiro still in his arms. He stood straight and tall, his white coat blowing in the breeze and exposing his pale upper body. His gaze was steely, unlike Hiro's, whose expression was wide with panic. He quickly started struggling in Haru's hold.

"Haru!" Hiro exclaimed as he watched the truck come closer with no signs of stopping. "You are not some magna hero with incredible powers!"

"No," Haru stated. "But I am a cow." He paused, the breeze moving his hair in the most dramatic of ways. "A cow with a curse." He glared at the truck, as if daring it to run him over as he held his left hand out.

The truck driver, however, was already hitting the brakes and tried to avoid the white haired teen that was standing before him.

As the dust settled, Haru did not move and only watched the truck curiously. Hiro was still trying to escape the Ox's tight hold, aware that being in Haru's presence was dangerous.

"Hey!" the truck driver yelled, leaping from his vehicle. "What do you think you are doing? You trying to get yourself killed?"

Haru just simply turned to look at the screen and stare into the eyes of the readers. "Dear readers, please do not try this at home. Had any of this happened in real life, Hiro and I would most certainly have been crushed by the truck. But as this is fanfiction and the author does not possess the guts to kill us off, we were able to perform this reckless act with ease."

"You shouldn't have done it either way!" Hiro screamed, kicking his legs. "And who are you talking to?"

The truck driver just stared at them, open mouthed. He then looked back to witness Tohru and Momiji clambering onto the back of his truck. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing up there?"

"Kisa!" Tohru exclaimed as she swung open the door to the porta potty. Both she and Momiji blinked when they stared at the empty space.

Momiji gasped. "They moved her!"

"Moved what?" the man snapped. "And get off my truck!"

"You kidnapped her!" Momiji yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the driver.

"He did what?" Hiro demanded, eyes flashing.

The man stumbled back, put off by the sudden hostility coming from the two boys. His eyes narrowed as he pulled out his phone. "I'm calling the cops," he warned.

"Please don't!" Tohru exclaimed. "If you do, they cops will put Haru, Hiro and Momiji in the electric chair!"

"They're going to put Hiro in the electric chair?" a surprised voice asked.

Everyone turned to see Kisa standing by, her gloved hand covering her mouth in shock as she stared at the truck driver. Tears filled her eyes as she regarded him.

"Please sir," she begged. "Don't kill Hiro!"

The driver just blinked. "Eh?"

"Kisa!" Tohru said happily, clumsily jumping down from the truck and running to embrace the girl. "Oh! I was so worried!"

Momiji blinked and looked at Kisa, then back at the porta potty. He shrugged before leaping down and racing after his cousin to embrace her. "Kisa!" he exclaimed happily.

"You chased after the wrong porta potty, idiot," Hiro muttered as Haru finally let him go.

"Hold up!" the driver exclaimed, blinking. "I demand an explanation!"

"Merry Christmas," Haru said simply, tossing him a toy cow. "It speaks, but you will have to buy the batteries." He then strode away, leaving the sputtering driver behind.


	11. Stale TV Specials

_The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...stale TV specials!_

* * *

Kyo finally stood back, eyeing everything around him with a warning glare.

If anyone, and he meant, anyone, tried to mess with his tree and lights, they would find themselves in a very shallow grave.

Somehow, even without words, his message was understood and everyone stayed a safe distance from the tree, including the pathetic Charlie Brown tree.

However, that did not stop Shigure and Ayame from commenting on the small stump.

"It looks so sad," Ayame commented, tilting his head as he regarded the Charlie Brown tree.

Shigure nodded, mirroring Ayame's movements. "It will be the first to go. Not much firewood on that one."

"You will not be tossing my tree into the fire," Kyo grouched as he snatched the remote and clicked the TV on.

Ayame clapped his hands joyfully when he noticed what was on the TV. "Oh! I know this Christmas special! _The Grinch that Stole Christmas!"_

Shigure beamed, elbowing his cousin in the ribs. "Remember how we convinced Ritsu that the Grinch had eaten Santa to take his place? Ha! We traumatised him for sure!"

Kyo scowled and flipped to a different channel, trying to find something remotely different.

"Kyo," Shigure started curiously. "Why are you not in the kitchen assisting Kagura and Yuki?"

Kyo shot him a look of disbelief. "Kagura and Yuki; need I say more?" He turned back to the television. "Besides, they kicked me out."

Shigure blinked. "I would have thought Yuki would have been kicked out by Kagura for his...lack of talent in the kitchen."

Ayame sighed. "That is something I will have to personally teach my brother! It will strengthen our brother bond!"

"Shut up," Kyo snapped. "I am trying to listen!"

Ayame frowned, glancing at the TV. "To _Christmas Vacation?"_

"Oh that's my favorite!" Shigure exclaimed. "My favorite is the one with that hot model in the red bathing suit." He whistled. "Sizzling hot!"

Ayame playfully shoved him, letting out a dramatic sigh. "Oh Gure, how your dirty mind works."

Shigure smirked. "You still got those gift cards for the ladies?" he asked.

Kyo frowned at that. "Gift cards?" he asked, turning to look at them. "What gift-?" He paused when he saw the gift-cards that Ayame flashed to him. His eyes widened and he choked. "Why would you get...what is wrong with you?" He hoped they hadn't got one for Tohru. If they did, they were both dead.

"Oh, they're not for us," Shigure said simply. "I think they would look better on a woman anyway."

"On the contrary," Ayame declared. "I think I could pull it off!"

Kyo looked sick.

"Those lacey patterns and nice, elegant designs!" Ayame droned on.

Kyo turned a bright shade of red, gagging.

"Don't forget how it-" Shigure started.

"ALRIGHT!" Kyo shouted frantically, changing the channel once more.

Both Shigure and Ayame brightened up considerably when they saw what was on next. "Oh! _Scrooged_!" they both squealed happily.

"Haven't seen that one in years!" Shigure said with a wide smile.

"Oh! This is my favorite scene," Ayame said, leaning forward eagerly.

His favorite scene, as Kyo would find, was the skimpy women at the office party giggling around leeching men. One lady was sitting on a printer with her skirts-

Nope! Kyo quickly changed the channel, his face a whole different shade of red at this point. Both Ayame and Shigure whined as the screen changed.

But then they both brightened up at the next Christmas special that showed up on screen.

" _Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!"_ a little girl on the TV exclaimed.

" _It's a Wonderful Life!_ " both Shomas said happily.

Kyo tilted his head, seeing no problem with this particular Christmas special. Unfortunately, it seemed to be coming to an end as the credits rolled on. Perfect, just when he thought he had found something decent.

"Such a shame," Shigure sighed.

"Such a classic," Ayame agreed.

Kyo sighed, annoyed that he was being foiled at every single attempt at watching something. Maybe he should just pick up a book and read. Reluctantly, he clicked to the next channel with a bored expression.

" _You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch_

 _You really are a heel!_

 _You're as cuddly as a cactus,_

 _You're as charming as a eel."_

"Shigure," Ritsu started, coming in with his eyes focused on a notepad he was holding. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but-" He stopped when he saw the green grinch on the TV screen, the cartoons wide, famous grin startling him.

Ritsu dropped the notepad, eyes wide with terror as a scream unlike anything Kyo had ever heard tore out of the Monkey's throat.

"HE ATE SANTA!" he screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the TV. He then gasped, covering his mouth. "I'm too loud! I ruined the movie! I am so sorry! I apologize!"

"Shigure! Ayame!" Kyo hollored to the other two Sohmas. "Do something!"

The two just looked at each other with similar smirks, and it was then that Kyo realized his mistake.

"Poor Santa," Shigure sighed sadly.

"The Grinch really did a number on him," Ayame said with a hand on his heart.

* * *

Momiji looked around the parking lot with confusion, a frown on his face.

"And Hatori did not tell you where he had parked?" Hiro demanded, hands on his hips.

Momiji placed a finger on his lips, looking thoughtful. "Um, I assumed he would come pick us up."

"How could he pick us up if he didn't know where we were?" Haru stated.

Momiji sighed, pulling out his phone. "I'll just call him," he muttered.

However, after waiting several moments to the ringing phone, and receiving no answer whatsoever, Momiji felt a small bit of fear worm its way into his heart.

As Tohru waited patiently, she brightened up when she noticed a certain blonde woman. "Arisa!" she exclaimed happily, waving her hands happily to catch her friends attention.

Airsa blinked and pushed her blonde hair out of the way as she approached Tohru and the others. "What are you doing wandering around the parking lot?" she asked, blinking as she glared at everyone but Tohru.

Tohru smiled brightly. "Trying to find the car."

Arisa's frown deepened. "You lost your car?"

"Not really our car," Momiji said quickly. "Our cousin is actually picking us up, but we don't know where he parked."

"He normally drives a black car," Haru stated, as if to be helpful.

Arisa glanced around the parking lot, where cars of all sizes and colors were parked. She raised an eyebrow. "Good luck," she answered. She looked back at Tohru. "Are we still on for Christmas carols tonight?"

Tohru blinked before she let out a startled gasp. "I completely forgot about that! I am so sorry! I got so caught up in the shopping and decorations and-"

"Tohru," Arisa laughed. "Relax, we still have time." She leaned over to pick up one of the bags at Tohru's feet. "I'll help you with your bags to the car."

It took them awhile to find the car, and it had been Haru who had stopped them all by casually pointing out Hatori snoring in the car.

"Found him!" Momiji exclaimed happily. He went to pull open the door, only to frown and realize that it was locked. He started pulling on it frantically, until Haru gently pushed him out of the way. Sticking his hands through the halfway open window, he unlocked the car with ease.

"Hope you find the house easier then you find the car," Arisa commented as she helped load up the groceries. "Be sure to take a look at the carols we'll be singing."

Tohru nodded quickly in understanding. "Thank you Arisa! I'll see you tonight!"

"I look forward to it," she said with a smile. Her smile, however, turned into a smirk. "But if you do see Kyo again, tell him to where chapstick next time he kisses a girl. His lips were a bit chapped."

As she walked away, everyone stared at her, then back to a blushing Tohru. "Wait," Momiji started, confused. "Kyo kissed Arisa?"

"Details for later," Haru said, though his curiosity was certainly aroused. "You can tell us in the car," he said, looking at Tohru who grew increasingly uncomfortable.

"Yo, Hatori," Hiro said, tapping the doctor on the shoulder. "Wake up!"

But Hatori just rolled over in the seat with a tired sigh, not listening to any of them. He seemed dead to the world, uninterested in anything but sleep.

"Poor Hatori," Tohru sighed. "Having a hangover must be really bad."

Haru looked at her sharply. "Hangover?" He shrugged. "Oh well. Then it can't be helped." With that, he shoved Hatori into the passenger seat and slid into the driver seat. Hatori did not even grunt as he was pushed aside, but rather, curled into himself and sighed tiredly.

"Get in," Haru said to the others.

"Yay!" Momiji cheered, jumping into the back seat with Hiro, Kisa and Tohru. "Haru's going to drive!"

"Um, do you have a driver's license?" Tohru asked nervously as she buckled up.

"I have my permit," Haru said simply as he started the car.

Hiro frowned. "Don't you need an adult in the car with you to drive?"

"We got one," Haru said, jerking a thumb at the slumbering Hatori.

"I'm pretty sure they have to be awake and sober," Hiro said. But he shrugged and buckled up as Haru pulled out of the parking space.

Tohru squeezed her hands nervously as Haru began to drive. But she soon let out a sigh of relief when everything went a bit smoothly.

She was soon rethinking that train of thought when they drove onto the street and Haru hit the gas. Everyone let out a yelp as he speed up, and Tohru's eyes widened in horror. "H-Haru!" she exclaimed. "You went through a red light!"

"We have ice cream in the back," Haru replied simply as he cut off another car to get into the left lane.

"So what?" Momiji yelped at the sounds of many horns honking at Haru's reckless driving.

"So, the ice cream will melt if we do not hurry," Haru explained calmly. "And Hatori has no problem with this speed."

"Hatori is asleep!" Momiji exclaimed. "Haru! You're supposed to slow down for a yellow light!"

Haru frowned. "Really? I was told you were to speed up for a yellow light."

"What idiot told you that?" Hiro demanded as he held onto Kisa's hand tightly. "You're going to get pulled over!"

No sooner had Hiro said those words then did the sound of police sirens reach their ears. Haru glanced into the rear view mirror with a bored expression. "It can't be for us," he said.

"It's for us," Momiji said tiredly. Tohru just squeaked, sinking into her seat as she turned pale.

Haru pulled over at the officers suggestion. He then calmly reached into the glove compartment and pulled out dark sunglasses. He reached over and placed them on Hatori's face. With a satisfied nod, Haru turned to look at Momiji. "You know what to do."

Momiji sighed. "Yes, I do." Without saying anything else, he discreetly gripped Hatori's shoulders, straightening up the slumbering doctor.

Haru rolled the window down as the officer approached thateem. "Good evening officer," Haru stated blandly. He then looked up, eyes wide with recognition. "Hey, aren't you the same cop from the store?"

The cop scowled when he noticed Haru. "You are making this a bad day."

"I'd like to think I am having a wonderful day," Haru stated simply, passing his permit to the cop.

"Then you are making me have a bad day," the cop snapped, taking a look at the card Haru had given him. He glanced in the car and noticed Hatori in the passenger's seat. He frowned. "Is he alright?"

Haru glanced at Hatori casually. "Him? Oh yeah. He's just sensitive to light. Plus he's mute."

At that moment, Hatori decided to snore, causing Tohru to squeak and Hiro to groan. Kisa just sat still, eyes wide as Momiji's face turned red.

"And how do you explain that?" the cop demanded.

"He's a smoker," Haru explained. "So he has lung problems." He leaned towards the cop, whispering. "He's sensitive about it."

The cop did not seem to buy it, but he also looked like he wanted to get as far away from Haru as possible. With a sigh, he looked up. "Where do you live?"

"Just up the road," Haru said simply, pointing.

Letting out another sigh, the cop rubbed his face. "I'm going to let you off with a warning and spare myself the headache."

Haru smiled. "How kind of you."

"And stay out of trouble, or I'll be doing more than just give you a warning," he said, shaking his finger at Haru who nodded quickly.

Hiro leaned in towards Kisa, whispering, "The electric chair." Kisa squeaked, looking at Haru with intense worry.

"You're free to go," the cop said finally, snapping his notepad shut.

Haru smiled once more, starting up the car. "And a Merry Christmas to you too."


	12. Singing Christmas Carols!

_The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me...singing Christmas carols!_

* * *

"Quick!" Kagura exclaimed, shoving the takeout boxes into the trash bags. "We need to make it all look homemade!"

Yuki was quickly flinging takeout boxes into bags as well, a frantic mess around him as he and Kagura tried to make the kitchen look like they had been preparing dinner, and not ordering from a restaurant.

Kagura huffed, swiping her hair back before lightly dabbing flour to her nose and cheeks. "There," she exclaimed. She then grabbed Yuki and flung a bunch of flour on his face, causing the Rat to sputter.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Yuki demanded, pulling back and coughing out flour that had gotten into his mouth.

"Making you look like you actually did something," Kagura stated, running her hands through his hair and streaking it with flour.

"You're making me look like a mess," Yuki snapped, backing away and stumbling out of the kitchen.

That proved to be a mistake as he looked up at the sounds of startled gasps. His eyes widened when he saw his brother's horrified look on his face.

"Yuki!" Ayame shrieked, dropping the Christmas cards and rushing forward. "You have leprosy! How can we cure it? How did this happen? HOW LONG DO WE HAVE?" He tried to hug Yuki, only for the younger Sohma to duck out of the way. "Don't you worry!" Ayame declared, spinning around. "I do not care if you have two years or two hours! We will use whatever time you have left to strengthen our brotherly bond! I will never leave your side!"

"It's flour," Yuki snapped, avoiding his brother once more.

"What? Are you trying to look like a geisha?" Kyo asked, smirking.

Yuki scowled, glaring at the Cat.

"Oh, you would make a wonderful geisha!" Ayame crooned. "And you look so priceless in that pink apron!"

"With those feminine features of yours," Shigure commented with a smirk. "You could pull it off."

Yuki's scowl deepened and his hands curled into fists. He was stopped at that moment when Kagura burst into the room, carrying a tray of cookies. Like Yuki, she was covered with flour and her apron had stains on it, stains Yuki was sure hadn't been there before.

"Look, another geisha," Ayame commented with a laugh.

"Kyo!" she exclaimed, causing the Cat to twitch. "Not to worry my darling, dinner is almost ready!" She thrust the tray into Kyo's face. "Here! These were baked with my love!"

"I don't need your love!"

Yuki blocked out all the sounds of their bickering and the loud talk of Ayame and Shigure as he stared down at the text message on his phone. He frowned before looking up. "Were we supposed to be singing Christmas carols tonight?" he asked, catching everyone's attention.

Kyo frowned. "Carols? What idiot wants us to sing carols?"

"Miss Honda just sent me a reminder," Yuki said, holding up his phone while glaring at his orange-haired cousin for unintentionally calling Tohru an 'idiot.' "She also sent me a list of the songs we are to sing."

Ayame clapped his hands happily. "Wonderful!" he proclaimed. "I will make lovely outfits for all of you!"

"We are singing tonight," Yuki said with a sigh. "And it is not a dress rehearsal!"

"I'll scrape something together!" Ayame proclaimed as he grabbed his coat and ran out of the house. "I must get started right away!"

Kyo smirked when the door finally slammed closed. "Well, we got rid of one annoying nut."

"The Grinch who ate Santa," Ritsu muttered, rocking back and forth in a corner. "The Grinch that ate Sante!"

"Two more nuts to go," Yuki muttered.

Kagura gasped suddenly. "Nuts! We forgot to put nuts in the cookies!" She yanked the tray back from Kyo who was just getting ready to snatch one. "Do not touch them!" she exclaimed, running back into the kitchen.

"And what Christmas songs will we be singing tonight?" Shigure asked casually, a small smirk on his face. "Hopefully some of my personal favorites are on Tohru Honda's list."

* * *

Everyone soon realized that having Haru drive home was a bad idea for many reasons. One reason was because of his reckless driving, the other reason was his unique ability to get lost.

"Take a left," Momiji instructed, looking out the window.

"Then a right!" Tohru said helpfully.

"Avoid that pothole," Hiro said, rather unhelpfully.

"I do not need you to tell me to watch out for the pothole," Haru said, a hint of annoyance in his tone as he took a sharp right. "I may get lost easily, but I am not blind."

"Sure seems that way," Hiro commented as the car jostled a bit more.

At that moment, Hatori opened his eyes and blinked rapidly. He sat up sharply, eyes narrowed as he turned his head to regard Haru, who was calmly driving the car.

"Stop driving," Hatori ordered.

Everyone fell forward as Haru hit the brakes rather quickly. Hatori banged his head on the dashboard, letting out a pained yell as he did so. Rubbing his head and glaring at his younger cousin, he delivered his simple order. "Get out."

Haru took in the stare Hatori was giving him and compiled, switching seats with Hatori, who climbed into the driver's seat. With a tired grunt, the Dragon gripped the wheel of the car and started the vehicle back up again.

"Boy, you were really out of it, Hatori!" Momiji exclaimed unhelpfully.

"Does your head feel better?" Tohru asked kindly.

Hatori glanced back before focusing once more on the road. "Immensely," he said. "I needed to get away from the chaos at Shigure's."

Tohru clapped her hands. "Oh! Were they almost done with the decorations? I hope they didn't strain themselves. Maybe I should have stayed longer to help."

"I can assure you, Miss Honda," Hatori said, cutting her off. "That your presence would have made the events all the more worse."

Haru glanced at him. "That bad, huh?"

* * *

"How are we supposed to memorize all five of these songs in the next three hours?" Kyo demanded as he looked through the papers.

"Two hours, actually," Yuki reminded him. "And you do not memorize them. You just have to familiarize yourself with the songs. You will be holding the paper in your hand and glance at it every so often as you sing."

"But don't focus on the paper in your hands," Shigure reminded the Cat. "You need to look at the audience! Stare at the audience. Peer into their very souls!" He spun with a flourish. "Now, if you are nervous about singing in public-"

"I am not nervous!" Kyo exclaimed.

"You can always visualize the audience as something you really like and are comfortable with," Shigure continued, unfazed. "For instance," he smirked. "A gaggle of high school girls-" He yelped when Kyo threw a slipper at him. "Fine! Fine, forget the high school girls. What about a bunch of kittens?" He scrambled out of the way when the slipper's partner smacked into Shigure's face. The Dog huffed. "Fine, I try to be helpful, but I can see my expertise is not wanted!"

"No one asked for your expertise," Yuki said, sighing as he glanced back down at the paper he was holding. He cleared his throat. "Let us practice."

In the next five, painful minutes, Shigure and Ritsu both stared with open horror as both Yuki and Kyo tried in vain to pull together a merry choras. Alone, both teens would have been decent. But together, their voices clashed like fire and ice, grappling for power and domination.

Kagura had come running in, thinking the horrendous noise was her beloved being strangled to death. Yelling her declaration of love, she tackled Kyo to the ground and wrapped him in her embrace, causing the Cat to yelp.

"Thank you for that, Kagura," Shigure said with a sigh, causing Ritsu to also let out a sigh of relief and hold back his words of encouragement and constructive criticism.

Shigure clapped his hands together. "Now," he said, pointing at Yuki and Kyo, the later who had just freed himself from Kagura with minor injuries. It was the holidays after all, and she did not want to damage him.

"You two need some pointers," Shigure continued. "What you need to do is not just speak, but shout your lyrics! You want to be heard by everyone. Next, throw in some moves! Sway your hips, pump your arms. Wink a bit at the ladies! Make them blush and swoon; you'll get more tips that way."

"It's not a show, or a play," Yuki huffed. "It is just an hour of caroling!"

"You don't want to disappoint poor Tohru, do you?" Shigure asked with a slight pout. "The poor girl has been looking forward to this all year!" He smirked at Yuki's and Kyo's conflicted expressions. "I thought so!" he declared. "Now, let me show you how to properly move your hips to catch the eyes of the opposite gender!"

Ten minutes later, Ayame burst in with a flurry of furs, bells, and elaborate outfits. "Hello everyone! Do not despair because I am here to make your night fabulous!" He set the bundle he had been carrying down in a heap on the floor. "Now, I could only gather together a couple of capes, but they will make you all look so cute! Especially if I can style up some holly berries in your hair!" He paused for a moment when he realized what he had walked into. "Um, are you all training to be belly dancers?" He yelped when Kyo tried to hit him. "It was an honest question!"

"These boys don't have the figure for belly dancers," Shigure stated. "I am trying to show them how to woo the audience!"

Ayame brightened up. "How delightful! Here, put on these capes I slaved over!"

* * *

"Oh!" Tohru exclaimed in awe as she took in the bright lights and decorations outside. "It's so lovely! Kyo did a wonderful job out here! I can only imagine what the inside would look like!" She frowned thoughtfully. "I wonder if I have to help finish up with dinner. Not that I doubt that Yuki would have done a marvelous job, but…"

"Be honest with yourself, Tohru," Momiji said as he carried the bags. "Yuki burnt dinner."

At that moment, when they opened the door and witnessed both Yuki and Kyo being forced into elaborate white capes with holly berries stuck in their hair, they all froze.

"Miss Honda," Yuki said weakly as he tried to fend off his brother's beautifying attempts. "Dinner is ready."

Tohru blinked, surprised. "It is?"

"It is!" Kagura proclaimed, entering the room with her flour dusted apron. "It is piping hot and ready for our guests."

"Yuki," Haru commented, his mouth twitching as he grinned, causing Yuki to shoot his cousin a warning look. "You look festive."

"Is this for the caroling?" Momiji asked happily. "What fun!"

"We will be caroling after dinner with Arisa and Hana!" Tohru said happily as she began to put the groceries away.

Kyo blinked. "Arisa is coming?" he demanded.

"Oh, yeah," Momiji started. "What was this about the kiss between you and Arisa?"

In that moment, Kagura's expression turned thunderous. "What kiss?" she growled.

"The kiss that never happened!" Kyo said frantically. But it was no use as Kagura was charging at him with screams of rage.

"Run," was all the warning Kyo got from Yuki at that point, but it was a warning he didn't even need.

"Oh Yuki!" Tohru exclaimed happily. "This looks...amazing!" She was utterly speechless as she took in the meal that was prepared before her, the wonderful smells making her stomach growl.

Yuki smiled hesitantly. "Thank you Miss Honda. Kagura did help." He paused. "A lot." He cleared his throat, catching her attention. "I, um...Could you teach me how to properly cook...sometime?"

Tohru blinked as she took in the meal before her. "Oh, I don't think you need to take any lessons from me! I think you have it covered!"

"No, no!" Yuki said quickly, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. If only she knew how this meal had been prepared. "I...Kagura did...most of it." Which was kind of true as she had ordered the takeout. "And...I would like to learn from you." So that I don't burn the Christmas dinner, or any other dinner, next time, he thought silently. But he didn't say that out loud.

To his relief, Tohru just smiled. "Sure," she said.

"What are you two doing in there?" Shigure called out teasingly. "There's no mistletoe in the kitchen, is there?"

Yuki growled as he glared at his cousin with a warning glare. "Get out," he said.

"It's my house!" came the indignant shout.

* * *

When Kazuma had arrived, everyone sat down to enjoy a warm meal that was, unknown to all but Yuki and Kagura, takeout food. The Rat and the Boar had simply arranged it all to look nice, and everyone believed it to be a home cooked dinner.

Kazuma had tried, and failed, to hide his disbelief when he found out that it had indeed been Yuki and Kagura that had made the treats.

After dinner, Kyo could not help but smile as Tohru happily accepted the cape Ayame dressed her up in. She stood still as Kagura helped pin the holly berry in her hair, which Tohru did the same with the other girl. Apparently, everyone but Shigure, Ayame, Hatori and Kazuma were going caroling. Even Ritsu wanted to come sing.

Kyo was surprised that there were enough capes and holly berries for everyone.

He accepted his sheet of music paper from Shigure, instantly suspicious with the smug, excited smirk that the Dog was wearing. But he did not have time to wonder why Shigure wore such an expression when the door opened up to reveal Arisa and Hana standing before them.

All Sohmas froze as Hana turned to look at them with a curious frown, yet Tohru happily greeted her friends.

"You're not wearing white capes," Hiro said rudely.

"Oh how wonderful!" Ayame exclaimed, taking in Arisa and Hana's red capes. "Red and white is very festive!"

"Yes, yes," Yuki said quickly, trying to escape his brother. "You ladies look really festive, let's go!" He quickly urged everyone off the porch so as to move them all along. As they were all strolling down the dirt path, Kyo winced when Kagura loudly proclaimed that Kyo was hers as she roughly grabbed his arm.

Arisa just smirked at the Boar. "Well, here's some chapstick for those lips of yours," she said, tossing Kyo the chapstick as he quickly caught it with ease.

Instead of blowing up like he thought she would, Kagura just frowned, interested. "What kind of a kisser is he?"

Arisa's smirk became teasing. "He needs practice," was all she said.

Kagura nodded her head firmly. "Thought so," she said simply. It was in that moment that Kyo resigned himself to a long night of caroling. He had no choice but to stay at Kagura's side, even as they approached the first house.

Yuki glanced down at his paper, and his eyes widened in horror at what he saw. Displayed on the paper in his hands was the song, _Merry Frickin Christmas._

It was the same song done by Frickin A.

He was going to _kill_ Shigure and Ayame by the time he got back! Plain and simple. He was already plotting their slow, painful deaths.

Beside him, he heard Kyo swear under his breath. "Look what that darn Dog did to my lyrics!" he exclaimed, thrusting the paper in Yuki's face as everyone got into position while Tohru knocked on the door.

Yuki frowned as he read the title, _12 Pains of Christmas._ He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at Kyo. "You too?" Though he might not agree on a lot of things with Kyo, at this point, they could both agree that the Snake and Dog of the Zodiac must perish.

"Can it get any worse?" Kyo muttered as he tugged on his elaborate cape.

At that moment, the door opened to reveal a very familiar face of a man everyone thought they would never see again.

The man's eyes widened. "You!" he exclaimed, pointing a finger at them all. "You were the kids who wrecked my trees!"

"You tried to sell us a bad tree!" Arisa exclaimed, recognizing the tree seller. "How fitting that we would start, and end our day with you."

"So should we start off with _O Christmas Tree_ first as it is appropriate for this particular individual?" Hana asked, glancing at her lyrics.

* * *

From the porch, Shigure and the others watched with mild interest as the group vanished into the night. Shigure could not help but smirk as he thought about Yuki's and Kyo's lyrics he had switched. Boy, won't they be mad! At this point, he should be thinking about preparing his funeral. But he decided at that moment that paying Akito a visit was in order. After all, he still had to give her that gift card. He might want to wrap it though, just to buy himself some time to run.

"Want to play a card game?" he asked to the others, holding out a deck of cards he had stored in his pocket.

Ayame beamed happily and dashed inside. "I'll get the wine!"

"Splendid idea!" Shigure exclaimed as he followed his cousin while shooting Hatori a knowing smirk.

Hatori sighed tiredly. "I'll stay and play a game, but I am not drinking anything." Kazuma could only frown at the Dragon's statement, but he just smiled and followed him inside.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** **This story was inspired by the song titled "12 Pains of Christmas,"** **by Bob Rivers.** **Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night! God Bless!**


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